Showing posts with label fashion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fashion. Show all posts

Why Did Abercrombie & Fitch Offer ‘Jersey Shore’ Cash Not to Wear Its Clothes?

New York, New York –

Ever since Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino appeared on MTV’s reality TV show, Jersey Shore, wearing Abercrombie & Fitch merchandise, sales among its more affluent fashion conscience gay men clientele has fallen (some say jumped) off a cliff.

At first Abercrombie & Fitch experienced increased sales from having its clothes featured on the popular show, attracting more straight men to their stores than ever.

"However, those sales to straight men as well as those to gay men have since declined," said a company spokesman.

Although not a large segment of the clothing market, statistically speaking gay men do spend more money on clothes and purchase more of them than their counterpart straight men.

“And they don’t hoard them for years either,” said Andrew Marcus, a fashion designer at Abercrombie & Fitch.

Straight men have a tendency to hold on to their clothes longer than gay men, according to the Thrift Store Association of America.

“If it wasn’t for death and divorce,” said a spokesman for the Salvation Army. “We wouldn’t have any men’s clothes at all.”

“I have an uncle who’s straight,” explained Marcus, while positioning a pattern for a pair 1960’s Mod style pinstriped skinny jeans on a cutting table. “He won’t buy a new pair of underwear until the old pair literally disintegrates in the wash.”

As a result of this primarily heterosexual male clothes hoarding phenomena, Abercrombie & Fitch fear that straight men will wear their clothes for so long that they will came back into style again.

“I’ll starve to death!” said Marcus.

Faced with falling sales from both the gay and straight segments of their market share, Abercrombie & Fitch had to do something drastic.

“We were desperate,” confirmed the company spokesman. “So we offered to pay ‘The Situation’ not to wear our clothes, hoping it would get us out of ours.”

Currently, Abercrombie & Fitch are reviewing other reality TV shows, prepared to extend the same offer, hoping to attract gay men to their stores again.

So far, however, Jersey Shore appears to be the only one willing to wear its line of clothing.

"Just my luck," said Marcus.

Meanwhile, Marcus is back at the drawing board, preparing to disembark on a new line of clothes for next spring.

A line so exclusive, he claims, “You’ll need an engraved invitation just to look at them!”

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