-- Sussex, UK
By Robert W. Armijo
Amidst rumors of sheep herding dogs, cows milking themselves and locals driving on the right side of the road, resulting head-on collisions with out of towners, a number of Sussexians gather at a local pub to discuss the series of strange events since the removal of their Duke Harry from the throne by the queen.
“Hedgehogs have stopped hedging,” said Jones, born and raised in Sussex all his life. “Now they just hangout by the roadside; waiting for a car to drive by, so they can step out in front and get smashed.”
“Yes,” confirmed a fellow Sussexian, holding a pint of ale under his nose. “I have noticed that too.”
“I’ve seen them politely queue up first then one by one step out in front of cars with a glazed look in their eyes,” another Sussexian added, holding a pint of ale under his nose.
“Unless it’s a lorry,” said an out of town truck driver as he entered the pub, removing his coat and cap covered in blood, fur and tinny little hedgehog bones. “Then they rush you all at once like some kind of dance of the lemmings -- Hey, what’s up with you all suddenly driving on the wrong side of the road, I had to dodge three of you just this morning. Almost hit head-on, that I almost did. I almost did.”
“What do you ever mean?” Jones questioned, now holding a pint of ale under his nose. “We’ve always driven that way.”
[♫Ton - Ton - Ton♫]
To Be Continued…?
wpclipart.com
Copyright © 2020 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
