Showing posts with label Bikini. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bikini. Show all posts

“Thong Bikini Queen” Vida Guerra’s PSA Spot for Dental Floss Pulled by the ADA

Los Angeles, California --

A Public Service Announcement (PSA) was pulled today when it was learned that someone at the American Dental Association (ADA) inappropriately used funds when they invited on their own accord the queen of the thong bikini, Vida Guerra, to do a PSA spot promoting alternative uses for dental floss.

“I never knew he was doing it on his own,” said Vida Guerra from behind a pair of dark sunglasses like Jackie Onassis as she lay sunning herself on the veranda with her tanned voluptuous coconut buttered up buttocks pointed toward the clear blue Southern California sky like a beacon of debauchery and wanton excess of unrequited lust for all to see. “I just got a message on my voice mail from the ADA asking me if I would do the 10-second spot because they said I had great pair of teeth. Believe it or not, that’s not usually the first thing people notice about me…or ever come to think of it. I guess that’s why I said yes.”

When Vida Guerra arrived at the studio for the PSA shoot she was surprised at the director’s request that she wear the dental floss, and only the dental floss as her wardrobe.

“I asked him if he was sure he wanted me to wear the dental floss for a bikini,” said Vida Guerra as she sipped from her drink of mineral water from a long straw. “I told him, ‘I have thinner ones in my car.”

That is when the director of the PSA lunged at Vida Guerra, having to be physically restrained by other members of the studio crew.

Unfortunately, after review by the ADA board, the footage Vida Guerra had to be destroyed as it crossed the line of good taste, broke with commonly accepted community standards; considered a gross abuse of dental hygiene products.

“Viewing it alone constitutes a health code violation,” said one ADA board member.

“What’s the problem with you people?” rhetorically asked Vida Guerra as she reached back to pour more coconut butter on her already glistening brown derriere, squeezing out the white creamy contents from the plastic bottle and rubbing deep into her round highly pronounced and protruding butt cheeks “Women in Europe go to the beach topless. Those sluts. I might show a little ass but at least I have class and I keep my clothes on. After all, us women have to leave something to the imagination. Right?”

Copyright © 2008-9 by Robert W. Armijo

New Brazilian Bikini Wax procedure may kill you, but it takes years off your hooch

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - Already compared to child birthing and passing a kidney stone, many women are all to willing to endure such a painful procedure for the smooth clean look they get with a traditional Brazilian Bikini waxing. However, a new Brazilian Bikini waxing procedure is allegedly so painful and its side effects so dangerous, it has resulted in the death of a number of women.
Those deaths were reported as occurring when women forewent the tradition procedure involving a heated wax strip, opting instead, for new a hair removal procedure involving the use of heated wax treated by the secretions from the back of a poisonous Amazonian tree frog, which, if it does not kill you, will give you a youthful resilient look down under.
"It's taken years off my hooch," said Rachel Mendoza, a satisfied and surviving customer. "My husband says he just doesn't recognize me any more."
Unfortunately, all too often, other women have reported additional side effects, aside from death, such as numbness or over sensitivity in the treated area, an allergic reaction to the toxins in the poison of the tree frog's backside secretions.
"I have both numbness and over sensitivity," said Margaret Hornburg. "Particularly during sexual intercourse with my husband, I don't feel a thing, but then when I'm with my lover, it's so sensitive. I just don't get it."
Despite the dangerous side effects of the new Brazilian Bikini wax procedure, it is expected to approve as a dieting aide, as a number woman before their death reported significant weight loss.
Copyright 2008 Robert W. Armijo