Stephen Colbert to Assume New Pseudo Identity of a Lefty Liberal Late-Night TV Talk Show Host

"I'll Tell You What, Steve.
You Better Not Screw This One Up."
New York, New York--

Much to the chagrin of the fans of ‘The Colbert Report’, Stephen Colbert will be dropping the pseudo conservative (neocon) personality he created to host the conservative mocking show for a new liberal pseudo identity when he takes over ‘The Late Show’ from David Letterman.

“Mr. Colbert will want to blend in with the late-night TV talk show landscape, which means he will have to leave his trademark neocon personality behind and assume a new liberal one,” said a TV critic.

Few people know that Stephen Colbert is more than a comedian, however. 

That he is also a trained method actor educated at Julliard, which leaves many convinced that he can make the transition into a new liberal persona quite successfully.

“Yes,” said a former professor of Colbert from the famed school of music at Julliard, New York. “I remember Stephen well. Initially he played the kazoo. Poor boy had a horrible medical condition.”

Colbert was stricken with an intestinal gas disorder. Therefore, his professor convinced him to take up a percussion instrument instead. 

“Which he did of course,” said the professor. “It helped to mask the noise but unfortunately not much else.” 

However, Colbert did learn to control his facial expressions when he was passing gas, perfecting his deadpan face.

“Pretty soon, you couldn’t tell if he was passing gas or not,” said the professor. “Until the direction of the wind changed, of course. Then everybody knew. I suppose that’s how he picked up method acting.” 

“It will be a stretch even for Stephen,” warned a ‘The Colbert Report’ producer. “After all in order to successfully portray today’s liberal, he will have to act the same, dress the same and even vote the same as a conservative.”

Meanwhile, Colbert will be standing in front of a national TV audience with a newly assumed pseudo liberal persona trying to convince them that he is no longer the same liberal as before, portraying a conservative, mocking conservative values. 

Instead, Colbert will now be mocking liberal values, masking the conservative side of his personality under a social satire construct.

“Colbert calls his new pseudo liberal persona his ‘neolib’ caricature,” said a spokesman for Colbert. “You know, like neocon. Isn’t that refreshing?”

Still liberals are worried that if his neolib caricature does not workout for Colbert that he may slip back into his conservative caricature from ‘The Colbert Report’, confusing liberals and conservatives both. 

While still other liberals believe that, that is exactly what Colbert will have to do if his neolib persona is to be successful as the new host of ‘The Late Show’. 

While yet other liberals believe that liberals unlike conservatives are easily fooled, confused and fickle minded

“You know what?” added the producer from ‘The Colbert Report’. “After thinking about it, I’ve changed my mind. If the democrats can pull it off, so can Colbert. He should have no trouble fooling the country that his neolib caricature is a liberal mocking liberal values when he’s still really Stephen Colbert from ‘The Colbert Report’ mocking liberal values as his so-called assumed pseudo conservative caricature.”

Copyright © 2008-2014 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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