Herman Cain Blames Rick Perry; Rick Blames Mitt Romney; Mitt Blames Mel Gibson; Mel Blames the Jews

Malibu, California --

Herman Cain broke Ronald Reagan’s Golden Rule of “Thou Shall Not Attack a Fellow Republican” this week when he openly blamed Rick Perry for leaking to the media his sexual harassment settlement back when he was the president for the National Restaurant Association on Capitol Hill.

That, however, was just the opening salvo in what turned out to be a Republican bloodbath. For just as quickly, Rick Perry turned around and blamed fellow Republican, Mitt Romney for the Cain leak. Mitt Romney then pointed his finger at Mel Gibson, who, without hesitation, blamed the Jews.

Siting by the telephone at his Malibu home, Mel Gibson, actor and director, awaits a phone call from his court appointed anti-anti-Semitic rage counselor, Rabbi David Herschel.

“I don’t have to talk to him,” said a nervous Mel Gibson as he puffed away at a cigarette. “It’s just…I feel like I owe him an explanation.”

Mel Gibson claims he and Rabbi Herschel have become close friends since his arrest for a DUI several years’ back, which he blames the alcohol for his anti-Semitic tirade.

“I hope he can understand,” said Mel Gibson, lifting up the receiver to check if the phone was working. Then quickly putting it down, once he heard the dial tone.

According to Mel Gibson, the court appointed Rabbi Herschel to teach him that the Jews are not to blame for the woes of the world, or the death of Jesus Christ.

Suddenly, the phone rings. It is the call Mel Gibson has been waiting for.

“What happen, Mel?” asked Rabbi Herschel. “You were doing so well.”

“I know. I know,” lamented Mel Gibson, slapping his forehead with the palm of his hand. “It must have been a knee-jerk reaction.”

“Listen, Mel,” said a comforting Rabbi Herschel. “I understand. Old habits are hard to break. But the important thing is that you still believe me when I tell you the Jews are not to blame for the woes of the world, right?”

“Right,” Mel Gibson agreed.

“And you still believe me when I tell you the Jews are not to blame for the death of Jesus Christ, right?” asked Rabbi Herschel.

“Right,” again agreed, Mel Gibson.

“So then,” said Rabbi Herschel. “What’s all this nonsense about the Jews being responsible for the Cain leak? You know the Jews are not to blame for that, right?”

Silence filled the phone line.

“Right, Mel?” repeated Rabbi Herschel. “Mel?”

“Well,” Mel Gibson finally responded. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, Rabbi Herschel.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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