Kid Absorbs Magneto’s X-Men Power from Marvel Comic Books

 "Wait a minute. I'm not supposed to be here.
That other guy with the magnetic personality is."

Dallas, Texas --

At first the parents of a small 12-year-old boy, Johnny Gomez, took their son’s medical condition to YouTube before they took him to the doctor when they first discovered he had the ability to attract anything made of metal to his body.

"We didn’t think anything of it," said June and Sam Gomez, as they reflected on the health of their son.

It seemed harmless enough, attaching pots and pans or other kitchen utensils and household items to their son’s exposed chest and then posting the video on YouTube. Making a mockery of their son for the world to see.

"No doubt that is probably much of the indignity Magneto had to endure himself as a child, shaping his character as an X-Men," said a Marvel comic book writer. "I only have empathy for that little boy on YouTube and share in his contempt for his parents for doing that to him."

As the phone calls came streaming in asking for radio and television interviews, Johnny’s parent scratched their heads in search for an answer, as it seemed to them they could not recall a time when they did not hang metallic objects to their son’s body. Or pass up some other opportunity to embarrass or humiliate him some other way.

Suddenly, Mrs. Gomez recalled a visit to the doctor’s office. Though she showed outward signs of struggle to remember the incident.

"In many cases, memory loss is reported as a side effect of excessive exposure to electromagnetic radiation," said the Marvel writer.

"I think the first time I noticed was when I took Johnny to the doctor for that flu," said Gomez as she turned facing her husband. "You remember, the one that was so bad I had to keep him home from school for a week."

Mr. Gomez hesitantly nodded in agreement.

It was in fact at that doctor’s office visit that Johnny was first diagnosed as being magnetized.

"I remember that day well," said Max Eisenhardt, M.D. and the Gomez family doctor. "Little Johnny Gomez came into see me for a flu he had and when I reached down for my stethoscope it was already on his chest."

The doctor’s watch and the nurse’s earrings were all attached to Johnny’s body as well. Later, a bedpan had to be surgically removed from Johnny’s face.

"I told the mother not to panic," said Dr. Eisenhardt. "After all, I had read about a similar condition like Johnny’s in JAMA."

The doctor went on to explain a famous case in Mexico involving two adolescent brothers who were diagnosed with the so-called Wolf-Man disease, because their faces were covered entirely with hair.

"Later of course it turned out to be Wolverine disease," said the doctor.

"Tell me Mrs. Gomez," asked the doctor. "Does your boy like to read Marvel comic books? The X-Men series in particular?"

"What could I say?" recalled Mrs. Gomez. "Of course, doctor.’ I said to him. ‘What 12-year-old boy doesn’t?’ That’s when he said Johnny suffered from a medical condition known as: Magnetoism."

"What?" said a surprised Mr. Gomez. "I thought the boy had too much iron in his diet."

"Yeah, but that’s only because he has absorbed Magneto’s power," explained Mrs. Gomez. "He didn’t have too much iron in his blood before. Anyway, the doctor said just take all his comic books away and his condition should clear up in a year or so."

That was a year ago.

Just around the time the Gomez family shot the YouTube footage of their son that has just made the rounds on mainstream media outlets seen today.

Since then Johnny has been enrolled in a military academy and prohibited from reading any comic books.

"They’re such a bad influence on a young impressionable mind," said Mrs. Gomez.

"I could think of worse," said the writer from Marvel.

"Did you ever take Johnny back to the doctor to see if he’s gotten over his condition?" asked Mr. Gomez of his wife.

"No," replied Mrs. Gomez. "Wait…no."

"Why not?" asked frustrated Mr. Gomez.

"Because the doctor is upstairs in Johnny’s room right now examining him," replied Mrs. Gomez.

"The boy’s condition seems to have stabilized," assured the family’s doctor, as he closed the door to the boy’s room behind him, tugging at his stethoscope and wiggling his watch around his wrist. "Whatever the initial cause whether real or psychosomatic, it seems to have subsided for now."

"Although…" cautioned the doctor, as he paused to turn looking back at the parents from the other end of the hallway. "As the boy continues to grow and with the onset of puberty setting in, his medical condition could return. Oh well, only time will tell. Meanwhile, let him rest and continue to give him plenty of fluids to drink."

Nevertheless, the doctor advised the parents to continue with their vigilance, restricting their son’s access to printed material in the interim.

"Oh, and if I were you, I wouldn’t give him back his library card yet either," said Dr. Eisenhardt as he turned away again. "Still too risky. A good imagination is health. Too much imagination is not. Take it from me, I should know."

The parents nodded in agreement, as they slowly turned their heads facing the bedroom door of their son’s room; wondering what future lay beyond it and if he would ever find it inside of him to forgive them.

Later that night, as all were asleep, Johnny sat up in his bed and turned on his flashlight.

Reaching under his mattress, he pulled out a Soldier of Fortune magazine.

Propping it up on his knees, he opened it up to a well-worn centerfold page of a naked woman holding an RPG. Then he began concentrating on the image laid out before him with all his might.

Just then the boy’s mother walked into the room carrying a tray with milk and cookies.

Turning on the light, she shouted, "Johnny! What are those things on your chest? And what are you doing to them?"

"They’re not mine, honest. They belong to Miss January. See?" said a startled Johnny, holding up the magazine with picture of the naked woman, her breasts jaggedly cutout with a pair of scissors.

The very next day Johnny had all his Marvel Comics returned to him.

"And my MAD Magazines, too," said Johnny as he lay on his bed with his comic books spread out before him. Slamming his bedroom door shut with a mere gesture of his hand from across the room.

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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