British Airways new “Jet Man” single passenger X-treme frugal economy class flight now fully operational

Paris, France

Looking to save on the rising cost of energy, British Airways just successfully tested their new “Jet Man” single passenger extremely frugal economy class flight today. Pushed out of an airplane mid-flight over the English Channel at an altitude of 8,200 feet and at over 375 aeronautical miles per hour, Doug Ross from Liverpool was the first ever airline passenger to fly himself to their final destination, under their own power and survive.

“Surprisingly, after being pushed out of the plane, landing, taxiing and disembarking at an international airport is not as hard as you’d think,” said Ross.

Ross who won the British Airways in-flight lottery (drawing the shortest straw) to be the lucky passenger to be strapped to a single jet-powered wing was given his last rights by a Catholic priest and a last meal (a bag of salted peanuts) by a stewardess just before she opened up the airplane passenger door and shoved him out.

Initially, caught up in the prevailing North Sea trade winds, Ross was blown off course, all the while tumbling to his death, before his single jet-powered wing properly unfolded and jet engine finally ignited.

“Still, it was way easier than clearing airport security,” said Ross while he stood on the tarmac at the Paris International Airport waiting to be refueled. “Especially evading those incoming SAM”S (surface- to-air missiles) on final approach.”

“We expect to pass on the savings to our customers,” said a spokesman for British Airways. “Except for those passengers that opt for the last rights and last meal package. We change extra for those services.”

Copyright 2008 Robert W. Armijo