Showing posts with label Smart Car. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Smart Car. Show all posts

Apple’s iPhones Download Porn Slower than Other Smart Phones!!!

Apple finally admitted that its 6, 6s and SE iPhones were deliberately programmed to slow down in order to avoid a battery drain due to power demands of downloading porn.

“We would have come forward sooner,” said a spokesperson for Apple. “But we really didn’t think anyone would notice.”

“Oh, I noticed,” said an iPhone user. “Just the other day I was in a public restroom at a truck stop trying download porn when my iPhone took forever to download porn.”

According the iPhone user, by the time the pornographic images came on to his screen, the moment had passed and he had to leave his bathroom stall unsatisfied and frustrated.  

“Finally, the images downloaded,” continued the iPhone user. “But by then, I was on the road and had to pull my rigg over to the side of the road, hitting a tinny little car in the process.”

Ironically, the iPhone user struck a Smart Car.  

Photo(s) Courtesy of: Parody Law

Copyright© 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Smart Car Strikes Pedestrian; Driver Dies

Thanks to the Smart Car, joggers are finally evening up the score.
By Robert W. Armijo

Investigators are buffaloed by a fatal automobile accident involving the economical Smart Car and a pedestrian. 

Photographs taken of the Smart Car at the scene of the accident show extensive body damage to the tiny vehicle and none to the pedestrian.

“I just don’t get it,” said Denial Johnson, the pedestrian and avid jogger hit by the Smart Car. “I didn’t even get a scratch.”

Mr. Johnson was examined by medical personnel at the scene and released.

Although the accident is still under investigation, police have ruled out the possibility that the driver was already dead when he collided with the pedestrian.

“Apparently he was texting at time of the fetal impact,” said police. 

From the smoldering wreckage of the Smart Car, police recovered a smart phone.

“The deceased was still holding it his hand,” said police.

According to police, the decease’s last text read: "Gotta go now. Have to beat a jogger to the crosswalk."

The Smart Car has recently enjoyed some popularity in the wake of climate change. 

“Especially among consciously minded consumers interested in reducing their carbon footprint,” said Paul Waxman, a Smart Car dealer. 

Mr. Waxman quickly conceded, however, that outside the consciously minded consumers that the core of his Smart Car clientele is still golfers and circus clowns. 

Photo courtesy of

Copyright © 2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.