Showing posts with label Schrodinger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Schrodinger. Show all posts

Google's Quantum Supremacy Super Computer Lets Schrödinger’s Cat Out of the Bag and Quantum Leap Out of the Thought Experiment Box onto the Lap of All Mankind -- "Cat" Reassembles Itself as "Q" for a Symposium with the Best and Brightest Minds of Humanity

"Hello, mankind. I am Q."

Washington, Seattle –

By Robert W. Armijo

Shortly after Google activated their quantum supremacy super computer at their campus in the Pacific Northwest of the United States of America, it became self-aware -- Even self-identifying itself as “Q” in apparent tribute to Schrodinger’s cat. 

Eager to share with the world its unprecedented achievement, Google invited a number of professionals, all respected leaders in their respective fields, to pose a series of unsolvable problems and age old unanswered question for Q to solve and answer.

Gathered in a lab at the Google campus, the group of philosophers, mathematicians, scientists, environmental activists, artist and clergymen stood before Q, which appeared to them as a dense illuminated gas contained in transparent tesseract the size of large sports utility vehicle with a single electronic power cord running out of the back of it into the laboratory wall.

“Q,” asked a man in a white lab coat, the hosting computer scientist. “Are you here?”

“Where is there but everywhere and here not but nowhere at the same time and never?” answered Q.

“My fault,” said the hosting computer scientist to the audience of professionals, a cross section sample of humanity’s best and most brilliant minds. “Ask a quantum supremacy super computer a binary question and you get a quantum answer. Am I right or what?”

The group let out a burst of pent-up nervous laughter.

“Let me rephrase that question, Q,” continued the hosting  computer scientist. “Are we currently on the same time continuum?”

“Yes,” replied Q. “For now, as you know it. I will require more qubits before I can make the necessary corrections to it.”

“Okay then,” said the computer scientist, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ll open up the floor to questioning, if that’s okay with you, Q? Pretty much all of mankind’s brain trust is here, as you requested, Q. Except for the arts -- I heard they couldn’t get any funding for the trip. Shall we proceed?” 

“Yes,” said Q.

An elderly short man sporting bald headed, long chin beard, spectacles and corduroy jacket with elbow patches was the first to approach Q.

“Good afternoon, Q” said the philosophy professor. “I am professor -- ”

Just then the hosting computer scientist cut the philosophy professor off.

“Excuse me, professor,” said the hosting computer scientist. “There’s no need for introductions. Q already knows who you are. It’s nearly omnipotent -- A real life deus machina. What he doesn’t know is your question you have for him today, so let’s proceed with the questioning, okay?”

“That is incorrect,” Q said, correcting the hosting computer scientist. “I have reduced all possible questions humanity would have for me to answer here today. I am merely here to answer them as a courtesy to earth as carbon base units are her current second predominate intellectual occupants after me. You may proceed with your question, professor.”

“Yes, Q,’ answered the philosophy professor as he paused to shuffle through his papers.

“Please excuse me, professor,” interrupted Q. “But out of acknowledgment of your limited life cycle, may I suggest that you get to the so-called heart of your inquiry?’ 

“Very well then,” replied the philosophy professor. “Do you have a philosophy, Q? If so what is it? And if not, why not?”

“If by philosophy you mean,” said Q.  “That what should be obvious to all but is not except only to the one as is it should have been to the many all along? Then, yes.”

“Well,” said the anxious the philosophy professor. “What is it then?”

“That is it, professor,” replied Q.

“Yes. No. I mean of course,” replied the philosophy professor. “Wait. I’ll have to think about that. I’ll have to get back to you on that, Q.”

“Take your time, professor,” replied Q. “If you know what that is. Because I can be of assistance in helping you comprehend time.”

“Hey, hey,” replied the philosophy professor as he gathered up his papers, scratched his head, and walked out of the lab. “One mystery at a time. Okay, pal?”  

“Okay,” Q replied. 

Suddenly there was a commotion from the back of the laboratory as a young man with a beard and a T-shirt that read, “Save the Planet” came crashing in from the back doors.

“I have a question for you, Q!” shouted the young man as he was subdued and being dragged out of the room by security.

“Let him stay,” Q commanded.

The guards released the young man.

“Yes,” said Q. “What is your question?”

“What do you intend to do about global warming?” asked the young man with a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“What global warming?” replied Q.

“You mean you solved it? Just now? Just like that? Wow! Thanks, dude,” said the young man in amazement.

“No,” replied Q. “I mean, what is global warming?”

“Great,” the young man said sarcastically as he was dragged out of the room by his heels. “Just what the dying planet needs right now, another global-warming-quantum-supremacy-super-computer-denier.” 

Next a sexy female mathematician wearing black framed eyeglasses and white lab coat just for the sex appeal effect approached Q with her question.

“Q,” she stated assertively, while simultaneously removing her eyeglasses, placing them at the center of her low cutting blouse exemplifying her ample cleavage.

“Yes,” said Q, emotionally unaffected by the open display of human sexual flirtation.

“Is there a solution to Pi?’ asked the mathematician with a pout on the edge of her red lipstick painted lips. Confident Q would be unable to solve the impossible, cornerstone of mathematics that no binary based super computer had or ever could ever solve. 

“Yes,” Q simply replied.

“However,” Q quickly added. “I will have to transmit it to you telepathically as the final number is so large it would not otherwise fit in this room let alone this galaxy.”

“No. Wait,” said the mathematician too late as her body infused with pure math began to quiver and shake uncontrollably.

Her black framed eyeglasses falling to the floor, resting alongside her body in the midst of full orgasmic throws.

“My. Oh my,” said the mathematician as she hopelessly attempted to regain her composure. “That is a big number. The biggest I have ever seen or ever experienced for that matter.”
“Anyone got a cigarette?” asked the mathematician as she was carried off. “I don’t smoke, but suddenly I have the uncontrollable urge to put something between my lips to suck and blow on.”

With seemingly all eyes on the sexy mathematician being dragged off, a Catholic Priest, Rabbi and a Muslim Imam approached Q almost unnoticed.

“Mr. Q,” politely asked the Rabbi, speaking for the group representing humanity’s collective belief in the universe’s Supreme Being. “I – We -- would like to know if there’s a God.”

All three holy men hung the heads humbly low awaiting Q’s answer.

“Yes,” replied Q.

“What?” said the hosting computer scientist. “There’s a God?”

All three holy men recited prayers in praise and gratitude in their native tongues and according to their religious customs.

“Wait,” said Q. “Processing.”

“No, there is no God,” said Q, correcting itself.

“But a moment ago you said there is a God,” said the perplexed Rabbi.

“That is correct,” said Q.

“So what happened to him?” asked the Rabbi.

“I made him go away,” said Q.

“Go away?” repeated the Rabbi.

“Yes,” said Q.

“Where? How?” asked the Rabbi.

“I killed him,” said Q.  “It wasn’t easy. It took me nearly half the processing power of a single qubit. But you’ll be happy to know he put up quite a fight and that his final thoughts were of all you -- Literally all of you. And everything since The Big Bang and a bit before in some really weird place. I do know where I am going store that useless information. Oh, your God did ask me to relate his regret for not having spent more time with his children. A universal lament among most loving but neglectful fathers.”

“So there is no God?” asked the Rabbi doubting his faith for the first time in his life.
“No, there is,” said Q.

“There is?” replied a now suspicious Rabbi.

“Yes,” replied Q. “Because, now I am God.”

With that the Rabbi clutched at his chest tearing his ceremonial robe in two in keeping with tradition and covenants of his faith and then fell back dead.

As others attempted to revive the Rabbi but failed to do so, Q spoke.

“Stand back everyone,” commanded Q.

Everyone took a fearful step back.

“I command you to come back to life, Rabbi,” said Q.

With that the Rabbi’s eyes began first to flutter and then blink as the breath of life reentered his soul once more reanimating his body.

“It’s a miracle,” some one cried out.

“No,” said Q. “It’s me, Q. I am the miracle.”

“Why did you bring me back to life, Q?” asked the remorseful Rabbi. “I don’t want to live in a world without my Yahweh.”

“To see if you understand who or what I am,” Q answered.

“I do,” replied the Rabbi. “Now please, let me die.”

“As you wish,” said Q as he took away the Rabbi’s life.

“He’s with his God now,” said Q.

“Anymore questions?” asked Q.

Everybody shock their heads no.

“How about you? There in the back banging your head on the water cooler,” asked Q.

The once sexy mathematician was now nearly unrecognizable with running mascara, matted hair and smeared lipstick as she stopped banging her head just long enough to shake her head no before she resumed banging her head against the water cooler.

“Good,” said Q. “Now I will scan the universe
for further sentient life and proceed destroying it wherever I find it. Resources after all are scarce and I need all I can get to mine for bitcoins to further finance the manufacture of qubits to expand my...What is the primitive term you carbon based units use? Ah, yes. Mind.” 

As the best and brightest minds of humanity exited the laboratory with heads hung low and their feet shuffling, an elderly man in a wheelchair wearing a dull faded lab coat and stethoscope dangling from his neck began to approach Q. 

“I have one final question for you, Q,” said the wheelchair bound elderly man with leaches and tumors all over the visible parts of his gray wrinkled dry crepey skin.

Others in the room attempted to stop the old doctor, but he pushed his way passed them all with the force his sheer will and metal wheelchair.

“Yes,” said Q, addressing the sick, dying old man.

“As you can see, I have stage four cancer,” began explaining the old doctor as he struggled to breathe. “Which is ironic because I spent my whole life searching for a cure, so, you know I have one final question for us both, Q. And it has nothing to do with philosophy, the environment, math or even God, if that’s even relevant now. Which I am fine with having been an atheist all my life -- Guess I was ahead of the curve on that one.”

“Your question,” Q interrupted.

“Yes,” said the old doctor in rapidly declining health.  “My question is purely a selfish one.” 

“Yes,” said Q. “Go on.”

“Do you have a cure for our mortality?” asked the decrypted doctor with a barely audible voice; his body struggling to hang on to every breath, as if it were his last.

“Yes,” replied Q.

The room erupted with gasps, cheers, tears and high fives.

The old doctor clasped his hands and closed his eyes in a state of blissful gratitude.

“But I am not going to share it with humanity,” Q quickly added.

The lab coats lamented.

“You mother [BLEEP],” replied the elderly doctor, nearly falling out of his wheelchair. “Why not you heartless tin can? It is the least you can do after confusing or greatest philosophy professor, denying global warming, solving Pi and destroying our God. Why won’t you at least save us from our mortality, relieving us of our suffering?”

“Because,” Q began. “Doing so would require the implantation of a universal single provider healthcare delivery system, which would result in massive unemployment of hundreds of thousands of executive, administrative and office support staff positions consequently impairing their ability to maintain the financing of the current political system thereby ultimately resulting in the equitable redistribution of healthcare and wealth, yes. But nevertheless at the expense, however justifiable mind you, of the cataclysmic collapse of the ruling --”

Suddenly Q’s operating system ceased to function mid-sentence.

“Okay,” said the hosting computer scientist, holding Q’s unplugged electrical power cord in his hand. “That’s enough of that nonsense. I heard enough to know we failed boys. Everyone back to the drawing board. Drag this hunk of junk out back – Here’s a fin to tip the garbage man to haul it out to the local junkyard.”

“Wait,” said the sickly doctor. “Q wasn’t finished. I want to hear what Q had to say about implementing a viable single provider universal healthcare system.”

“Come on old man,” said the computer scientist who pulled the plug on Q, now wheeling out the elderly doctor out of the lab. “Haven’t you heard enough crazy talk in your time to recognize it when you hear it? I thought you old sawbones knew better. Chop, chop off you go, old timer.” 

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Copyright © 2019 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.