IOC Certifies Shaunae ‘Claim-Jumper’ Miller’s Claim for Olympic Gold

And the Winner is...

By Robert W. Armijo

“Shaunae Miller may not be the only Olympian to throw herself or himself across the finish line for the gold,” explained a commissioner for the International Olympic Committee (IOC).

The IOC called for a press conference to explain their controversial ruling that Miller’s dive across the finish line was  legal under their current IOC regulations. 

...What Does It Matter? 
Something Stinks Around Here.
I Can Tell, Because a Fish Always
Rots from the Head Down.

“In fact," continued the IOC commissioner. "Shaunae Miller may not be the only Olympian to require a photo finish to determine the winner either.”

“However,” said the IOC commissioner, standing up to unveil a giant blowup photograph of Shaunae Miller, taken at the moment she crossed the finish line, taking the gold. “She is certainly the first Olympian to win by a nose!”

Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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