NAACP to Reinstate Donald Sterling’s 2nd Lifetime Achievement Award as Soon as His Check Clears…Again?

What the H…E…Double Tooth Picks?
California, Los Angeles –

After pulling Donald Sterling’s nomination for a second Lifetime Achievement Award for Civil Rights, scheduled for presentation this coming May; the NAACP (Los Angeles chapter) now says that they are willing to forgive and forget -- look the other way, most likely -- reinstating his candidacy, as soon as his check clears the bank…Um, apparently, again.

“The NAACA’s Lifetime Achievement Award for Civil Rights is not issued to a man but to the institution he represents,” explained a spokesman for the NAACP. “That’s how we’re able to issue two or more Lifetime Achievement Awards for Civil Rights per nominees’ lifetime.”

“Clearly, the man is a racist," reiterated the NAACP. "However, his institution is not.” 

The NAACP insists that their Lifetime Achievement Award for Civil Rights is not for sale to the highest bidder and to suggest otherwise is nothingless than racism.

“I won’t dignify that question with a response,” said the NAACP. “Except to say this: Are you a racist? Because to suggest that we would sell our highest and most praised award, like it was a slave on the auction block available to the highest bidder, is racist!”

When asked if they would be asking Sterling to return his first Lifetime Achievement Award for Civil Rights issued to him back in 2009, the NAACP replied, “I thought I made myself perfectly clear. We gave that one to the institution. Not the man. If we took it back now, we’d only be punishing the institution -- Now that would be racial institutionalism! Even institutional racism profiling!”

“Besides, it was already bought and paid for,” added the NAACP spokesman. “And we have a 30-day non-refundable policy with a $10.00 restocking fee. Although Mr. Sterling may exchange it for store credit at our gift shop, but only if he can produce the receipt.”

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