Top 10 Obama Inauguration Parade Float Rejects for 2013

I want those floats gone now! 
10) Hope and Change Float – The old ragtag Hope and Change float with the letters H and C missing and now being towed away.

9) “All-Solar” Powered Float – Ironically, the all-solar powered float is no longer powdered by sunbeams. But by the good intentions (some say hot air) generated whenever the president opens his mouth to deliver one of his speeches (some say give lip service) on climate change. 

8) Path to Citizenship Float – A reenactment of the president (who holds the record for the most deportations ever) signing an executive order that temporally suspends the deportation of illegal aliens -- just in time to secure the Latino vote for his 2012 reelection campaign.

7) Mitt Romney’s Congratulatory Phone Call to the President Float – A reenactment of Mitt Romney calling the president, conceding to him the election (only to reach the White House answering machine). 

6) National Debt Counter Float – An electronic billboard counting down the national debt. Except it is blank because there is no power. No money to pay the electric bill.

5) The Cutting of the Last Inauguration Balls from 12 Down to Just Two Float – Six bulls riding a float with 5 about to be…[Censored by PETA].

4) Uncle Sam Kicking the Can Down the Road Float – Literally, Uncle Sam kicking a can down the road from Wall Street to Main Street until he hits Skid Row, ignoring foreclosure signs and homeless encampments all along the way. 

3) The “Bipartisan” Float – Members of Congress from both sides of the aisle sitting with their backs to each other, arms folded across their chests and faces grimaced.  

2) The Silence of the Leftist Lambs Float – Leftist Lambs look on silently as the president continues shredding the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights. A tradition started by the last right-wing administration and much criticized then by the left, but now silent.

1) The Presidential Darwinian Float – Watch the president slowly evolve his position against same sex marriage until he favors it. He starts out as a Darwin 'Jesus fish' walking ashore. Then he evolves through several primate stages until he is a fully erect Homo sapiens. Then he hunches over, rubs his hands together and evolves into a full-fledged politician – Oh wait, that’s de-evolution

Copyright © 2008-2013 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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