Pope Pimps out his ride (like his red shoes) for his visit to American

Washington, DC --
Pope Benedict XVI has arrived in American for his first official papal visit. He brings with him his customary entourage and bulletproof Pope-mobile for security purposes as usual. However, in order to reach out to America's young Catholic population the Pope made some slight modifications to his ride that will not go unnoticed. He pimped it out, a follow-up to his red shoes.

"The Holy See felt that is was necessary to show America's Catholic youth that the he is in touch with the challenges that face them today," said a spokesman of the Vatican. "Pimping out his ride make him more approachable and we hope more likeable."

Modifications to the Pope-mobile include: custom THX surround sound stereo system with Woofer speakers, side door paneling painting by the latest emerging inner city street artists depicting the New Ten Commandments for Catholic Drivers and an auto hydraulics system so he can make it hop up and down as he drives down the parade route.

It is believed pimping out the pontiff's ride is the first in a series of steps Pope Benedict XVI is planning to makeover his image as an introvert and intellectual.

"John Paul II may have been known as a Pope of the People, " said a spokesman for the Vatican. "However, Pope Benedict XVI will be go down in history as being the first Pope of Pop Culture."

While the Pope is visiting America, papal tailors traveling with the Holy See are "bizy" [busy] taking notes on the latest fashion treads in American. Later when they return to the Vatican, they plan on redesigning the Pope's wardrobe, consulting with none other than those fashionistas divas from that popular cable show, "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."

"Just because the centuries old traditions of the Church seem out of date with the world's largest and richest Catholic population that doesn't mean that the Pope's wardrobe has look like it too," said a spokesman for the Vatican.

Copyright © 2008-9 by Robert W. Armijo

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