President Donald J. Trump Golf Joke #1

By Robert W. Armijo





Q: What kind of birdie did President Donald J. Trump make, while playing a round of golf?







A: A Dodo birdie!


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Copyright© 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

President Donald J. Trump Golf Joke #2

By Robert W. Armijo





 Q: What kind of birdie did President Donald J. Trump make, while playing a round of golf?







A: A Cuckoo birdie!



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Copyright© 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

President Donald J. Trump Golf Joke #3

By Robert W. Armijo





Q: What kind of birdie did President Donald J. Trump make, while playing a round of golf?







A: A Mocking birdie!



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Copyright© 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

President Donald J. Trump Golf Joke #4

By Robert W. Armijo




Q: What kind of birdie did President Donald J. Trump make, while playing a round of golf?







A: A Lyre birdie!



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Copyright© 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

President Donald J. Trump Creates Life!!! Holds Xmas Vacation Press Conference at Mar-a-Lago To Explain New God-Like Power of Creation

"Help me! I am a freak of nature. Created somewhere 
around the 16th hole by many who consider a mad man 
who thinks he possesses god-like powers. And the scary 
thing is: He's right! He has god-like powers to destroy 
the world and everything in it! Help me! Actually,
forget about me. Help yourselves! I'll just sit here
on this tree branch and hold my breath until I turn
blue and pass out cold.
 By Robert W. Armijo

We now join the press conference live at the International Golf Club at Mar-a-Lago already in progress…

“I know it came as a shocker to me too,” said President Donald J. Trump, while leaning on a nine iron from behind a podium bearing the presidential seal. “I mean I’ve always known I had the power to take life, but create it, too? Who would've guess that? Right?”

The president was then asked by a reporter when and how the incident occurred.

“Just this afternoon,” replied the president. “Some guy told me I made a birdie, while I was playing a round of golf. And the funny thing is I wasn’t even trying. Sometimes I even amaze myself. So I turned to the guy and asked him, ‘Really? What kind of a birdie?’ But he didn’t say. He just stood there with a look of awe and wonderment on his face -- Yeah, just like that look you all are giving me right now. No doubt dumbstruck by my awesomeness at my new God-like powers of creation. Gotta go now. Got to get back to my game and finish it.  I’ll let you know if I create anything else other than an another birdie. I don’t know maybe a Unicorn this time. I heard those things went extinct under the previous administration -- And by that I mean the Obama administration! So it may take awhile. So don’t hold your breath, because I haven’t tested out my powers of resurrection yet.”

Just like that the president still adorned in full golf regatta walked away from the podium and back onto the green, disappearing into a sand trap somewhere near the 17th hole.


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Copyright© 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.


Mistletoe, Gateway Plant to Sexual Harassment and Assault??? Banned at Office Xmas Parties!!!

"Hey, you two! Get out from under that mistletoe!
Quit engaging in that politically incorrect, once socially
acceptable behavior. Didn't you get the memo from HR?"

By Robert W. Armijo

As we all know, this year was unprecedented in regards to the number of accusations of sexual harassment and even sexual assault at the office or workplace. So much so thousands of human resource (HR) departments around the Christmas observing world broke with a long standing seasonal tradition: mistletoe.

“It's the leading cause of both sexual harassment and sexual assault claims,” said Beverly DeAngelo, head of the HR department at Funfakenews.com.

DeAngelo says that with the combination of  letting down of one’s hair, carnival-like atmosphere and use of alcohol makes for a witch’s brew of bad behavior.

“Add on top of that mistletoe” continued DeAngelo. “And you got yourself a sexual harassment and/or sexual assault claim in the making.”

Mistletoe, a plant that has been apart of Christmas since the religious holiday had been observed, has served as a useful device or excuse to kiss someone you would not otherwise get to kiss on any other occasion or circumstance.

"The rules are clear enough," acknowledged DeAngelo. "You get sexually harassed...I mean sexually assaulted...I mean kissed only if you are standing under the mistletoe -- That's why I call it the gateway plant to sexual harassment and/or sexual assault."

According to DeAngelo, all forms of contextually socially acceptable excuses to make physical contact with the oppose and same sex have to be rethought; if not outright outlawed in this post Harvey Weinstein, Charlie Rose and Matt Lauer days.

DeAngelo is currently looking into other employer sponsored events like the company picnic to ban other longstanding traditions.

“So far, we are banning the three legged potato sack race,” said DeAngelo. “It’s too close for comfort. Plus we would be reducing our risk of a lawsuit for a possible violation the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). So I guess you could say, it’s a win, win all-around on that one.”  

DeAngelo explained that the potential for skin-to-skin human contact is too great of a risk to take for mere group cohesion at the office or workplace.

"We could all stand for a little less humanity at the office," said DeAngelo. "And focus more on productivity, wouldn't say?"



Photo(s) Courtesy of: wpclipart.com


Copyright© 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.


President Donald J. Trump Tweets Parents on What Kind of Present to Give to Their Children This Christmas



"What Did You Get, Jack?"
"Same as You: A Lump of Coal."
By Robert W. Armijo

Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump


“Coal! Give them a lump of coal. They will thank you for it. And guess who else will thank you? Coal miners! Bring back America’s coal industry! MAGA!!!"

Needless to say, White House officials quickly denied that the president’s Tweet advising parents to give their children a lump of coal this Christmas was an attempt to generate demand for coal; thereby reviving the coal mining industry.  


“”No,” said a White House spokesman. “Of course that’s not the president’s plan to bring back America's coal mining industry. We think. Actually, we will have to get back to you on that one, too.”


Caption Reads: 
 "What Did You Get, Jack?"
"Same as You: A Lump of Coal."



Photo(s) Courtesy of: wpclipart.com

Copyright© 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.


President Donald J. Trump’s 2017 "Traditional" Fireplace Xmas Eve "Greeting" to the Nation from "The White House"


President Donald J. Trump’s 2017 Traditional
Fireplace Xmas Eve Chat  Tweet to the Nation
from The 
White House his International
Golf Club at Mar-a-Lago, Florida
By Robert W. Armijo

While sitting in front of a fireplace, its mantel adorned with seasonal ornaments, bright red Christmas stockings and opulent trappings, the president Tweeted the following traditional official White House  Xmas greeting to the nation... only from his international golf club at Mar-a-Lago, Florida:

Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump

“You’re welcome, America. MAGA!!!”


Caption Reads:
President Donald J. Trump’s 2017 Traditional 

Fireplace Xmas Eve Chat  Tweet to the Nation 
from The White House his International 
Golf Club at Mar-a-Lago, Florida



Photo(s) Courtesy of: Public Domain


Copyright© 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.








President Donald J. Trump Responds to U.N. Decision to Condemn U.S. Recognition of Jerusalem By Getting a Tattoo???


All Hail President Donald ‘JerUSAlem’ Trump?
By Robert W. Armijo

“To show the United Nations how committed I am to recognizing Jerusalem as the capitol of Israel,” Tweeted  President Donald J. Trump. “I will be changing my middle name from John to Jerusalem. And getting it tattooed to my right arm. So, it will read: President Donald ‘JerUSAlem’ Trump -- Oh, and the ‘USA’ in ALL CAPS represents the American embassy opening up in Jerusalem get it? Eat that U.N.”





Photo(s) Courtesy of: Public Domain

Copyright© 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Apple’s iPhones Download Porn Slower than Other Smart Phones!!!

Apple finally admitted that its 6, 6s and SE iPhones were deliberately programmed to slow down in order to avoid a battery drain due to power demands of downloading porn.

“We would have come forward sooner,” said a spokesperson for Apple. “But we really didn’t think anyone would notice.”

“Oh, I noticed,” said an iPhone user. “Just the other day I was in a public restroom at a truck stop trying download porn when my iPhone took forever to download porn.”

According the iPhone user, by the time the pornographic images came on to his screen, the moment had passed and he had to leave his bathroom stall unsatisfied and frustrated.  

“Finally, the images downloaded,” continued the iPhone user. “But by then, I was on the road and had to pull my rigg over to the side of the road, hitting a tinny little car in the process.”

Ironically, the iPhone user struck a Smart Car.  



Photo(s) Courtesy of: Parody Law

Copyright© 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.