Showing posts with label texting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label texting. Show all posts
Social Media/Mobile Technology Literacy Test
What Does This ‘#’ Mean to You?
A) Hashtag.
B) The Pound Symbol on Your Phone.
C) An Invitation to Play Tic-Tac-Toe.
D) That Funny Looking ‘Thingy’ Above the Number Three (3) Key on Your Ergonomically Designed Desktop PC Keyboard.
.
Copyright © 2008-2013 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
Demi Divorces Ashton Over His Love Affair with…Twitter?! Ashton Responds Via Twitter
Hollywood, California –According to divorce papers filed by Demi Moore against her husband several years her junior, Ashton Kutcher was having a Twitter love affair. Not with another woman on Twitter, however, but with IT (Information Technology). That is to say with the latest of today’s social networking and microblogging devices itself.
Not to break with new tradition, however, Ashton Kutcher replied to Demi Moore’s divorce decree allegations via his Twitter account.
“Mr. Kutcher became increasingly emotionally detached,” Demi Moore said at a press conference, as she began reading a copy of her filed court pleadings. “Choosing to spend more time Tweeting his millions of fans than with me.”
Ashton Tweeted: “That’s BS, man. Just wrong. I spent time with – Wait, excuse me. I just got to answer this Tweet.”
Demi Moore cited irreconcilable differences and alienation of affection as the cause for petitioning the court for a divorce.
Ashton Tweeted: “Typical chick move. Obsessed with planning the perfect wedding and the first one’s to file for divorce.”
Reportedly, Demi caught Ashton Tweeting at all times during the day and night.
Ashton Tweeted: “Come on, man. Cut me some slack here. It was only that once. Obama just won the election.”
“He just wouldn’t put it down,” said a desperate Demi Moore, claiming Ashton would Tweet at every opportunity possible.
Ashton Tweeted: “Oh yeah, I remember now. I was supposed to be shaving her hairy mole, lancing her boils and chucking the corns on her feet. EXCUSE MEEE!”
Allegedly, Ashton was caught Tweeting, even while making love to Demi.
Ashton Tweeted: “I guess you could say that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Like as in her Joe Camel 2-packs-a-day cigarette sounding voice.”
“When we were intimate,” Demi Moore said subtlety, as she delicately broached a sensitive subject. “Ashton would rest his BlackBerry on the small of my back.”
Ashton Tweeted: “Yeah, and when I got a Tweet, I said to her, ‘Sorry, honey. I just got to take this booty call.’ LOL.”
Demi Moore claims that she begged her husband to enter rehab, but he refused. Insisting he did not have a problem.
Ashton Tweeted: “Why should I? I’m not the one having trouble embracing the twenty-first century.”
Eventually, as is the case with all troubled relationships, communication between the two all but stopped.
Ashton Tweeted: “Yeah, she removed the batteries from her BlackBerry and started using them in other electronic devices.”
“In the end, he refused to talk to me,” said Demi Moore. “I grew tired of coming home to what had essentially become a big empty house.”
Ashton Tweeted: “That’s not true. I Tweeted her all the time from all over the place: the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom and even the bedroom.”
Demi Moore said she found it difficult to properly express herself in 140 characters or less, as Ashton demanded of her.
“Call me old fashion,” said a tearful Demi Moore. “But I need an occasional handwritten love letter. Something tactile that you can hold in your hands, and clutch to your heart.”
Ashton Tweeted: “Handwritten love letter? Try a clay tablet with hieroglyphics.”
A somber Demi Moore concluded by saying, “I guess social networking and microblogging was the one generation gap we just couldn’t fill.”
Ironically, Ashton simultaneously Tweeted the same thing:
Ashton Tweeted: “I guess social networking and microblogging was the one generation gap we just couldn’t fill.”
Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
Charlie Sheen’s ‘WINNING!’ Tweets Keeps Japanese Quake/Tsunami Victim Alive
Tokyo, Japan -
"I’m still trapped under the rubble of a 3rd story building, which was once my place of employment," calmly tweets Aki Hayashi, 39, a businessman from an unknown location somewhere in the disaster zone of lwate Prefecture in Northern Japan. That just suffered an 8.9-magantude earthquake and subsequent tsunami on Friday.
While waiting to be rescued, however, Aki passes the time following Charlie Sheen’s Twitter account updated hourly.
"If it wasn’t for Charlie’s inspirational texts," continued tweeting Aki from his entombment. "I’m certain I would have given up on being the first to be rescued long ago."
Aki and his fellow trapped co-workers have even started an office pool, wagering as to who will likely be rescued first among the group based on the celebrity they have chosen to follow on Twitter from their personal hellhole.
"I hate to say it, but the others have no chance," Aki tweeted as the rubble settles, shifting side-to-side and the water level begins to rise. "I will be the first one to be rescued because they have foolishly chosen to follow John Stamos and Rindsay Rohan."
Aki attributes his increased chances of being the first to be extracted from the debris, unlike that of his co-workers, to his keeping heart and choosing someone who is an actual celebrity, or at least is not about to be incarcerated.
"Charlie gives me hope," Aki texts, while holding his cell phone above his head, the water level now up to his chin. "Because he continues to cheat death and elude the authorities at every turn. And he will continue to do so for an indefinite period of time, or at least until I am rescued. That I am certain."
Aki claims that Charlie Sheen is his "Tiger Blood".
"I've never met him," Aki continued texting, spiting out mud and silt from his mouth. "But Charlie Sheen runs through my veins. And if I survive…What am I saying? I mean when I'm the first to be rescued, I will tweet that to him."
Suddenly, Aki gets an incoming text as the water level miraculously drops and a patch of blue sky is unearthed by a rescue worker overhead.
"See what I mean?" Aki says aloud to his co-workers in their adjacent sarcophagus-like chambers. The mud-stained smile on his face lit up by the light and message he reads off his cell phone screen, as a plastic bottle of water is lowered down to him on the end of a rope. "It’s from Charlie Sheen. He says: ‘WINNING!"
Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
Photo Courtesy of:
http://www.wpclipart.com/geography/Country_Maps/J/Japan.png
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