Showing posts with label microblogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label microblogging. Show all posts

Funfakenews.com's New 50-Character Micro Blog Joke App for the Attention Span Impair…Oh, Never Mind

The following is an excerpt of an interview conducted with the managing editor of the funfakenews.com website concerning the roll-out of its new 50-character micro blog joke app for the attention span impaired.

The interview was quite comprehensive and informative, so we have edited it down for your consideration:

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Editor (E): Would you like to hear a sample of our new 50-character micro blog joke app for the attention span impaired?

Reporter (R): Sure.

E: Remember. it’s just the punch line to a joke. There’s no setup.

R: Why not the setup too? 

E: There’s just no room for it to fit into our new 50-character micro blog joke app for the attention span impaired.

R: So all people get is the punch line of the joke? 

E: Hopefully, yes. 

R: Why not write the setup to the joke too? 

E: What would be the point? There’s not enough room. 

R: So you never write the setups to joke punch lines you write?

E: We do. But just not to the same jokes.

R: Why not?

E: Not enough room.  

R: How are people suppose to laugh at a joke when they haven’t heard the setup?

E: Here at funfakenews.com we believe that people that have an attention span impairment disorder are actually people with a highly evolved sense of humor. Unlike the rest of us, they have adapted to abbreviated forms of human conversation. And as a result, they will pretty much laugh at any thing.

R: Do you think it will really work? 

E: Our new 50-character micro blog joke app for the attention span impaired is based on proven research. So it can’t miss.

R: Some say you based it on Twitter. Is that true?

E: Twitter and Facebook both. If people can be made to believe they’re having a meaningful conversation in 140-character or less. Or a meaningfully relationship like they believe they are having on Facebook. Then why shouldn’t people be able to adapt to laugh at just the punch line of an unrelated 50-character joke?

R: Are there any drawbacks?

E: Just the one.

R: What is it?

E: Well, as the name implies, our new 50-character micro blog joke app for the attention span impaired is only intended to work on the attention span impaired. 

R: So it doesn’t work on people with a normal attention span?

E: No. But those people can still enjoy regular jokes posted at funfakenews.com. Now, how about that joke using our new 50-character micro blog joke app for the attention span impaired? 

R: Is it just the punch line?

E: Of course.

R: Well, okay. I guess. Go ahead. 

E: … So the Rabbi says, “I said mohel! Not more oil!”

R: lol 

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Copyright © 2008-2014 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.


Demi Divorces Ashton Over His Love Affair with…Twitter?! Ashton Responds Via Twitter

Hollywood, California –

According to divorce papers filed by Demi Moore against her husband several years her junior, Ashton Kutcher was having a Twitter love affair. Not with another woman on Twitter, however, but with IT (Information Technology). That is to say with the latest of today’s social networking and microblogging devices itself.

Not to break with new tradition, however, Ashton Kutcher replied to Demi Moore’s divorce decree allegations via his Twitter account.

“Mr. Kutcher became increasingly emotionally detached,” Demi Moore said at a press conference, as she began reading a copy of her filed court pleadings. “Choosing to spend more time Tweeting his millions of fans than with me.”

Ashton Tweeted: “That’s BS, man. Just wrong. I spent time with – Wait, excuse me. I just got to answer this Tweet.”

Demi Moore cited irreconcilable differences and alienation of affection as the cause for petitioning the court for a divorce.

Ashton Tweeted: “Typical chick move. Obsessed with planning the perfect wedding and the first one’s to file for divorce.”

Reportedly, Demi caught Ashton Tweeting at all times during the day and night.

Ashton Tweeted: “Come on, man. Cut me some slack here. It was only that once. Obama just won the election.”

“He just wouldn’t put it down,” said a desperate Demi Moore, claiming Ashton would Tweet at every opportunity possible.

Ashton Tweeted: “Oh yeah, I remember now. I was supposed to be shaving her hairy mole, lancing her boils and chucking the corns on her feet. EXCUSE MEEE!”

Allegedly, Ashton was caught Tweeting, even while making love to Demi.

Ashton Tweeted: “I guess you could say that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Like as in her Joe Camel 2-packs-a-day cigarette sounding voice.”

“When we were intimate,” Demi Moore said subtlety, as she delicately broached a sensitive subject. “Ashton would rest his BlackBerry on the small of my back.”

Ashton Tweeted: “Yeah, and when I got a Tweet, I said to her, ‘Sorry, honey. I just got to take this booty call.’ LOL.”

Demi Moore claims that she begged her husband to enter rehab, but he refused. Insisting he did not have a problem.

Ashton Tweeted: “Why should I? I’m not the one having trouble embracing the twenty-first century.”

Eventually, as is the case with all troubled relationships, communication between the two all but stopped.

Ashton Tweeted: “Yeah, she removed the batteries from her BlackBerry and started using them in other electronic devices.”

“In the end, he refused to talk to me,” said Demi Moore. “I grew tired of coming home to what had essentially become a big empty house.”

Ashton Tweeted: “That’s not true. I Tweeted her all the time from all over the place: the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom and even the bedroom.”

Demi Moore said she found it difficult to properly express herself in 140 characters or less, as Ashton demanded of her.

“Call me old fashion,” said a tearful Demi Moore. “But I need an occasional handwritten love letter. Something tactile that you can hold in your hands, and clutch to your heart.”

Ashton Tweeted: “Handwritten love letter? Try a clay tablet with hieroglyphics.”

A somber Demi Moore concluded by saying, “I guess social networking and microblogging was the one generation gap we just couldn’t fill.”

Ironically, Ashton simultaneously Tweeted the same thing:

Ashton Tweeted: “I guess social networking and microblogging was the one generation gap we just couldn’t fill.”


Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.