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Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Obama Promises “New Speech” on Jobs in September, Instead of “New Deal” Now!

Washington, D.C. –

President Obama announced today that he is busy working on a new speech about jobs, which he will deliver to the nation this September. “Don’t despair America,” said Obama in a radio address concerning his new speech. “Help is on the way.”

According to a spokesman for the White House, Obama has called together the best speechwriters in the country.

“He is essentially assembling the greatest brain trust of orators this nation has ever heard,” read a statement released by the White House.

The president has even purchased a new rhyming dictionary.

“In fact, he’s gently breaking-in the spine now,” said a presidential aide.

Obama bought the new rhyming dictionary during his “Listing Tour” convoy through the Midwest.

“He insisted that the bus driver pullover to the side of the road when he saw a ‘Going Out of Business’ sign hanging in the window of a Borders bookstore,” continued the aide.

Obama even had the official White House photographer take his picture, documenting the historical purchase.

Standing in front of the ‘Going Out of Business’ sign with the new rhyming dictionary in hand, Obama posed stoically for the black and white Ansel Adams style photograph.

“I want you to take my picture in front of the ‘Going Out of Business – Everything 50% Off!’ sign,” said Obama, talking to the White House photographer. “I want you to capture my commitment to reduce the national debt by saving the tax payer money whenever I can.”

The White House photographer adjusted the leans of his camera and took the picture.

“Did you get it,” asked Obama of the White House photographer.

“Yeah, I got it,” replied the photographer. Then whispering beneath his breath to himself, he added. “But do you?”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo Courtesy of:
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Obama “BUSTour” Delivers New Campaign Slogan for 2012: Then: “Yes, We Can!” Now: “Yes, You Can”?

Washington, D.C –

While on his “Listing to America” bus tour through the Midwest, President Obama may have inadvertently come up with his 2012 campaign slogan all on his own. When, in a speech, he told Americans that only they, not him, could force the hand of Congress when it comes to creating jobs.

“I can’t force them to do it,” said Obama about creating jobs. “Only you can.”

Obama then went on to say to the audience, “So if you really think about it, the failures of my presidency are not really mine…They are yours.”

A hush came over the crowd.

After pausing a moment, checking the crowd’s reaction, Obama then proceeded to blame Americans for failing to fulfill his 2008 campaign promises as well.

“Why didn’t you do what I promised you, America?” said Obama, as people turned to look at each other somewhat embarrassed.

“What am I going to do with you?” added Obama as people hung their heads in shame. “Well?”

After pausing a few more moments, this time confidently staring down the crowd, as would an angry father his disobedient child, Obama spoke again.

“I’ll tell you what, America,” said Obama. “Not all hope for change is lost. And even though you failed me miserably, I still believe in you.”

Everybody not already on their feet stood up on them, cheering.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” said Obama, wiping his brow. “I guess I must be getting soft in my old age. Or maybe it’s that Nobel Peace Prize I won that finally got to me, but I’m going to give you one more chance, America.”

Obama then lead the throng in a chant -- His new political campaign slogan for 2012:

“YES, WE CAN!” Obama mistakenly yelled out at first. Then pausing a second to correct himself, he continued. “I mean, YES, YOU CAN! YES, YOU CAN! YES, YOU CAN!”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.