Showing posts with label Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens. Show all posts

Top 10 List That Best Describes Donald Trump's Loss in Iowa


Donald Trump Defeated by His Kryptonite:
The Iowa caucus
By Robert W. Armijo

10) Donald Trump’s Iowa caucus loss is like Kryptonite is to ‘Superman’.

9) Donald Trump’s Iowa caucus loss is like Pearl Harbor is to Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

8) Donald Trump’s Iowa caucus loss is like Waterloo is to Napoleon Bonaparte.

7) Donald Trump’s Iowa caucus loss is like Little Bighorn is to George Armstrong Custer.

6) Donald Trump’s Iowa caucus loss is like Vietnam is to Lyndon Baines Johnson.

5) Donald Trump’s Iowa caucus loss is like Benghazi is to former Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton.

4) Donald Trump’s Iowa caucus loss is like Obamacare is to President Obama.

3) Donald Trump’s Iowa caucus loss is like a court-ordered anger management course is to ‘The Hulk’.

2) Donald Trump’s Iowa caucus loss is like Bernie Sanders’ ‘Democratic Socialism’ is to Bruce Wayne’s [Batman] and Tony Stark’s [Ironman] 20th Century American capitalism.

1) Donald Trump’s Iowa caucus loss is like ‘Star Wars Episode VII : The Force Awakens’ is to the movie's director, “Jar Jar” Abrams.

Bonus: Donald Trump’s Iowa caucus loss is like Donald Trump’s Iowa caucus loss is to Donald Trump. 

Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Top 10 List of the Last Things Han Solo Could’ve Said and Should’ve Said Instead of Saying Nothing

"I can't believe this Star Wars logo 
is public domain!"
By Robert W. Armijo

It is not so much a disappoint that one of the most beloved Star Wars characters -- Han Solo -- died in the now renewed popular franchised episodic space opera series, but that his spark did not go out of the Star Wars universe true to form. 

Hearken back, for a moment, to his 'last words" spoken to Leia, while being lowered down into the carbonite freezing chamber on Cloud City. 

Leia [to Han Solo]: I love you.

 Han [to Leia]: I know.

The scene drew laughter all most exclusively from the female members of the audience, while the male members just shrugged their shoulders in ignorance.

Now here follows the Top 10 things Han Solo could have or should have said instead of just saying nothing during his death scene at the hands of his executioner and...son:

10) "You bastard! No, really. You’re literally a bastard. Your mother and I had you out of wedlock."

9) "You’re so much like your mother."

8) "Please, call your mother and tell her I’ll be late for dinner."

7) "I don’t think the New Republic’s HMO [health insurance] covers this."

6) "You’re so grounded."

5) "You’re really adopted!"

4) "Tell your mother I said, 'I told you so'.”

3) "Son of a bitch!"

2) "Don’t forget to give Chewy a fresh bowl of water every morning and walk him twice a day."

1) "Ouch...And I thought the hibernation sickness and freezer burn from the carbonite was bad."

Bonus: "Damn, I just got my hyper-drive license renewed too. Not an easy thing to do at my age."

Bonus: "Is this because I [BLEEP] your mother? Because every mother has to be a lover, to be a mother."

Bonus: “Hey, Ben Solo! You know what you are?...Just a dirty son of a [BLEEP]!”


Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo Courtesy of: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Star_Wars_Logo.svg