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| "I am Senator Bernie Sanders and I do NOT approve of this message." |
By Robert W. Armijo
In the aftermath of Senator
Bernie Sanders’s heart attack, a hardcore group of his supporters have sent a
letter to the 2020 presidential candidate, offering themselves up to the
senator as living human organ donors.
Members of the group even
took the liberty of marking their bodies with black sharpie markers, outlining
their organs to be harvested should the need arise on the campaign trail.
“He [Sanders] already has my
heart,” said Lucy Brown as she lifted up her blouse, exposing her bare chest
and pierced nipples. She then grabbed a sharpie and began to draw a perforated
dotted line around her heart.
“See?” she said.
Brown then closed her eyelids and began drawing circles around her eyes.
“Now he has my eyes too,”
Brown added.
“Ouch!” exclaimed Brown as
she dropped the marker and grabbed her left eye.
“Well, I guess he can have
just the one,” said Brown.
Other members of the group sat
in a giant circle drawing on each other’s backs, indicating which organs they
would donate to the senior senator from Vermont.
Suddenly a member of the
group stood up and shouted.
“Wait!” said a young man in a
Che Guevara style t-shirt with the image of Sanders wearing a beret instead.
“Can’t you see this is all wrong?”
Members of the group looked
at each other in confusion as they lowered their markers.
“He wouldn’t want us to be
marking are young bodies with sharpies as to which organs we’re going to donate
to him,” continued the young man. “He wouldn’t want that.”
“No?” Brown questioned as she
loosely held the marker in her hand.
“No!” repeated the young man.
“He would want us all to get tattoos!”
“You’re right!” echoed Brown
as she tossed her sharpie to the ground.
“Because,” added the young
man as he pulled a pair car keys from his pocket. “Tattoos don’t wash off with
sweat or water or teargas.”
With that, the Bernie Sanders's supporters piled into a flower power decorated VW van and drove off into the
sunset headed for the closest tattoo parlor.
Photo(s) courtesy of
wpclipart.com
