Showing posts with label Olympic Games 2016. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Olympic Games 2016. Show all posts

IOC Certifies Shaunae ‘Claim-Jumper’ Miller’s Claim for Olympic Gold



And the Winner is...

By Robert W. Armijo

“Shaunae Miller may not be the only Olympian to throw herself or himself across the finish line for the gold,” explained a commissioner for the International Olympic Committee (IOC).

The IOC called for a press conference to explain their controversial ruling that Miller’s dive across the finish line was  legal under their current IOC regulations. 


...What Does It Matter? 
Something Stinks Around Here.
I Can Tell, Because a Fish Always
Rots from the Head Down.
  

“In fact," continued the IOC commissioner. "Shaunae Miller may not be the only Olympian to require a photo finish to determine the winner either.”



“However,” said the IOC commissioner, standing up to unveil a giant blowup photograph of Shaunae Miller, taken at the moment she crossed the finish line, taking the gold. “She is certainly the first Olympian to win by a nose!”



Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo Courtesy of: wpclipart.com

Brazil Officially Changes Its Olympic 2016 Mascot to the Zika Virus


"Ciao, Zika! Welcomes You to Rio!
Feel Free to Take a Little Bit of Me...
...I Mean...Brazil Back Home with You."
- Rio, Brazil

By Robert W. Armijo

Brazil has decided to co-opt (own the fact) that it is officially the ground zero for the Zika virus, which causes birth defects in pregnant woman and can live in the male scrotum for weeks after it is undetectable in the blood stream. 

Brazilian Olympic officials believe that in dropping its current mascot Vinicius (a hypoallergenic cat) for Zika (a deadly virus) as its new official 2016 Olympic mascot that they will be able to defuse the building international concern and tension of a pandemic outbreak going deadly virus species ending like in the movie ''Children of Men' kind of going global; and thereby ending the international call for a boycott of the games. 
"WTF"?!

“Just think of Zika as having more tentacles…um, I mean arms to hug you with,” said a Brazilian Olympic official. “So please, feel free to embrace it.”
No need to to worry about Vinicius,
because after personally congratulating Zika
as his replacement, he got a gig driving for Uber. 




















Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo(s) Courtesy of:
wpclipart.com