“Occupy North Pole”?

Anchorage, Alaska –

A small but militant group of Elves marched out of Santa’s Workshop today, headed to the North Pole bent on occupying it. Putting to rest any speculation in the Main Street media that “Occupy Wall Street” will not be able to weather the weather, enduring the coming chilly months.

“Not to worry,” reassured an Elf, tossing a knapsack over his shoulder. “We’ll take up the cross. And carry it till spring comes and the snow thaws in New York City.”

“I love the jolly old guy,” said another defiant Elf, justifying the actions of the group. “But let’s face it, Santa is apart of the one percent.”

Santa’s Elves recently joined the occupy movement after watching the “Occupy Wall Street” movement take root around the world on TV, realizing that their jobs had been shipped abroad to China, Mexico and India.

“I’m a craftself by trade,” said an Elf, who became emotional. “With these hands and this tiny hammer, I use to cobble toy trains out of wood. Now, all I do is unload plastic ones from China.”

The contingent of rebellious Elves revealed they have a never before tried act of civil disobedience that is teargas resistant, guaranteeing that they will not be dislodged from the North Pole.

“We plan to lick it,” an Elf disclosed. “That way our tongues will get stuck to it. And nobody will be able to move us.”

At last word, Santa threatened to dispatch some gnomes with kettles of hot water. However, the Elves are confident they will be able to convince them to join the occupy movement.

“They’ve been working without a labor contract just like us,” said an Elf, as he and the others positioned themselves in a circle around the North Pole, arms interlocked and tongues extended. “Sow weare’re phoepeasting fr em tu.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo Courtesy of:
wpclipart.com

Obama Asks for an “Occupy Wall Street” Style “People’s Mic Check” at a Campaign Fundraising Dinner

Los Angeles, California –

So inspired by the “Occupy Wall Street” movement’s democratic “People’s Mic” way of communicating, by having a group of people repeat what a speaker is saying, because the New York Police Department prohibited the use of bullhorns or electronic public address system in Zuccotti Park. President Barack Obama decided to try it out himself.

After briefly explaining to the posh, well-to-do businessmen and celebrities in attendance at his campaign fundraising gala what the “People Mic” phenomena is all about and how it works, President Obama began his address.

“Mic Check!” said the president, standing at a podium without a microphone attached.

“MIC CHECK!” echoed back the audience (or People’s Mic), with the sole exception of a row of tables way in the back.

Obama again called out, “Mic Check!”

Again everyone in the audience, except for the row of tables in the back, repeated after the president, “MIC CHECK!”

“Now can I get a ‘People’s Mic Check’ just from the folks in the back?” asked an impatient Obama.

Again the president could hear from everyone in the audience, except for the row of tables in the back, as the People’s Mic repeated, “NOW CAN I GET A ‘PEOPLE’S MIC CHECK’ JUST FROM THE FOLKS IN THE BACK?”

“No, no,” said the president, scolding the People’s Mic. “I just want to hear from the people in the back now.”

“NO, NO,” echoed the People’s Mic. “I JUST WANT TO HEAR FROM THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK NOW.”

Obama grimaced at the People’s Mic, giving them the cut it gesture. Rapidly waving his hand across his throat.

Finally, someone from the back row of dinning tables stood up and spoke out.

“Are you addressing us?” asked a man in the back.

“Yeah,” responded the president as he paused a moment to stare down the People’s Mic, making sure it was turned off.

“That’s right,” continued Obama. “You people in the back sitting at the $1,000-a-plate cheep seat section. You’ll have to speak up, because I can hear the $7,500-a- plate section just fine. But not you guys.”

Then a man in the front row stood up and asked Obama, “What about us?”

“WHAT ABOUT US?” the People’s Mic repeated, uncertain if they spoke out of turn.

“Don’t worry,” replied the president, giving a thumbs up to the People’s Mic to be turned back on. “You folks in the $38,500-a-plate section are coming in loud and clear.”

“DON’T WORRY,” echoed the People’s Mic. “YOU FOLKS IN THE $38,500-A-PLATE SECTION ARE COMING IN LOUD AND CLEAR.”


Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.