Showing posts with label Jim Acosta. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jim Acosta. Show all posts

CNN Reporter Accuses White House of Weaponizing His Press Pass -- “Funny, It Never Smelled This Funky Before,” Says Jim Acosta

Has the White House Weaponized Press Passes?

Washington DC --

By Robert W. Armijo


"Jim Acosta is happy that the Trump administration has chosen to comply with the court ordered return of his press pass," said spokesmen for CNN. 

However, the distressed reporter has reportedly filed yet another complaint with the White House, asking that a new press pass be issued, as his old one has allegedly been compromised.

“Funny, it [press pass] never smelled this funky before,” said Jim Acosta, who filed a lawsuit against the Trump administration for allegedly breaching his First Amendment Rights when his press pass was revoked after he challenged the president’s authority by refusing to yield a press core microphone to a White House intern and take a seat.

Jim Acosta claims his press pass smells so bad that other reporters cannot remain in the same room with him for too long of a period.

“I can’t stand it myself,” Jim Acosta acknowledged, while wearing a clothespin on his nose. “However, I have no choice. I have to wear it. Or White House security won’t let me into the press room to ask President Trump my followup question at his next press conference: if he still thinks his anti-caravan rhetoric isn't divisive and racists?”

“Look. We [the press] all support Jim standing up for his First Amendment Right to ask President Trump loaded questions and all that jazz,” said a fellow colleague, who asked to remain anonymous.  “But if he walks into the press room wearing that stinky press pass, we’re filing for a restraining order, keeping him one-hundred yards downwind of us.”


Copyright © 2018 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo(s) courtesy of wpclipart.com

CNN's Jim Acosta Played by George Clooney in New “George Clooney Defends the First Amendment Against President Trump” the Movie

George Clooney Saves Free Speech

By Robert W. Armijo

Movie star actor turned political activist, George Clooney, announced today that he will be writing, directing, executive producing and playing the lead role of CNN reporter, Jim Acosta, in a new movie he is making on defending free speech in American under the Trump Administration.

“Nothing," said George Clooney at a press conference.  "I repeat. Nothing is more important to me than defending free speech in America.” 

A reporter then questioned George Clooney about his seemingly feigning  interest in Darfur.

“Of course, that’s still important to me,” George Clooney replied, as he rolled back his eyes. "That's why I married Amal. She's got my back."

Another reporter then questioned George Clooney about his personal war on the paparazzi.

“Really?” replied a visibly upset George Clooney. “You guys are going to bring that [BLEEP] up? You guys are disgusting. Aren't you guys ever going to let that go? I thought you’d have more relevant questions for me. Like how uncanny it is that Jim and I look so much alike. In fact, that’s what gave me the idea for the movie.”

George Clooney then called Jim Acosta up to the podium.

“Come up here, Jim,” said George Clooney.

“But I have several questions to ask you, George," said a bewildered looking, Jim Acosta.

"Hey, what did I tell you?" rhetorically asked George Clooney of Jim Acosta.

"Yes, Mr. Clooney," answered, Jim Acosta. "But what about my questions?" 

“You can ask them later,” said George Clooney. 

George Clooney then ran down the aisle, grabbing Jim Acosta's arm, leading him back to the podium. 

However, Jim Acosta resisted for a moment, refusing to relinquish the microphone.

"Really, Jim?" said a frustrated, George Clooney. "You want to try this crap on me? I'm not the [BLEEPING] President of the United States, you know. I'm [BLEEPING] George [BLEEPING] Clooney."

“See?” said George Clooney as he posed cheek-to-cheek next to Jim Acosta back at the podium. “We look like twins.”

George Clooney then pulled his cell phone out from his pants and held it out in front of himself and Jim Acosta.

“I’m taking a selfie of this [BLEEP],” said George Clooney. “It's [BLEEPING] uncanny.”


Copyright © 2018 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.


Photo(s) Courtesy of wpclipart.com