Hollywood, California - From the producers that brought you "The Osbournes," "Survivor" and "Fear Factor" now comes: "The Osmonds." That is if they accept the highly lucrative contract offer, as they are said to be seriously considering it; though they are hung up on the legal language, expressing a concern not over the royalties, right of ownership and approval, but the liability waivers they all must sign and initial."After all, the devil is in the details," said Donny Osmond, in his cheerful customary manner but looking somewhat worrisome as the smile slowly faded from his face.
The reality TV show will follow the same formula as its successors in that cameras and crew will be invited into the Osmond family home like that of "The Osbournes" given unlimited 24/7 access, according producers.
"With the sole exception of the wholesome Osmond family values, well mannered clean cut squeaky clean reputation and old fashion religious up bring hanging in the balance in every episode," said Juliette Sade-Marquez, the show's executive producer.
Like "Survivor" each of the Osmond family members will be required to compete for limited resources, making alliances and gather for a tribal council meeting where they will be required to vote a family member off the show, say producers.
However, if, like "American Idol" or "Dancing with the Stars," enough viewers call in to vote to keep them on the show they will be grated immunity and allowed to stay."Those family members that are voted off," said Juliette Sade-Marquez. "And don't get immunity are then traded off to another reality TV show like "Trading Spouses" where their family values and religious beliefs will be challenged and mocked for the sheer amusement of the American viewing public."
"That's not all," continued an excited Juliette Sade-Marquez. "At an unannounced moments during the show while the they are sound asleep, safe in their beds, or even during the day while they're shopping in the mall, Osmond family members will suddenly be adducted, hooded and handcuffed by masked armed men."
Contractually, Osmond family members will then be subjected to further humiliation and placed into harms way, risking life and limb by being subjected to simulated torture.
"After they are abducted by our armed and seasoned mercenaries," continued Justine Sade-Marquez the assistant producer and sister of Juliette. "Then we throw them into the back of unpadded and unmarked black van and driven around for hours for disorientation purposes before arriving at a secret location to be interrogated while hooked up to a lie detector forced to answer embarrassing personal questions like on that reality TV show "Moment of Truth."
While on camera, the Osmond family members will be forced to publicly confess their shortcomings, personal sins and answer questionable aspects of their faith.
At last report, the Osmond family signed on for the show but missed a loophole clause that supercedes their right of approval, allowing the producers to sign on additional reality TV shows without requiring the Osmond family approval, having to consult them, or even inform them of any additional reality TV shows producers may add to the venue.
According to trade magazines, "Ultimate Fighting," a reality TV show that pits two men trained in various martial arts against each other for a no-holds-barred mortal combat, is showing interest in being one of the other alternate reality TV shows Osmond family members can be traded off to.
Copyright (C) 2008 Robert W. Armijo
Photo Courtesy of www.publicdomainpictures.net
