Showing posts with label Chilean miners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chilean miners. Show all posts

New York Marathon Chilean Miner Says He Trained by Outrunning Avalanches, Landsides and Cave-ins

Ready! Set! GO!!!!
New York, New York --


Rescued Chilean miner, Edison Peña, drew a hush from a crowd of spectators and admirers who gathered around him to watch him pick up his bib from the New York Marathon officials Thursday, as he told his inspirational story that not only did he train for the up coming marathon while trapped in a mineshaft a half mile beneath the earth for 69 days, but that he trained up on the surface during his lunch breaks too, before the mine collapse.

In fact, on the day of the mine collapse, Peña recalled to the captive audience of mostly running fans that it was during his daily training routine of placing a stick of dynamite at the foot of a mountain, lighting it up and running away from the avalanche of rolling rocks and debris that he found himself trapped in the mine with 32 other men.

“I never start running until I hear the thunderous sound of the exploding dynamite,” said Peña, who as a child of an impoverished miner was too poor to afford a starting pistol. So together with the other children of his village used sticks of dynamite, instead of a signal gun, to start their runs.

However, this time, Peña could sense something was different from all the other landslides he triggered with explosives.

“After the explosion,” said Peña as he outran the wave of boulders, dust and abandoned mining equipment behind him. “The earth she did not stop shaking for some reason. Not like she usually does after a minute or two, all depending on how many sticks of dynamite I use, of course. But instead she kept shaking.”

Peña thought to himself that perhaps there was someone else from his village training in the area, as he never before in his life experienced an earthquake.

At the moment, however, there were more pressing matters for Peña to attend to.

“When I looked over my shoulder,” said Peña. “I could see the avalanche was gaining on me. So I had to make a decision and quick.”

Fortunately for Peña there was a mineshaft just a quarter of a mile or so ahead of him, so he made a sharp turn inside of it.

“Just in time too,” said Peña. “The rocks sealed the entrance of the mine behind me.”

Once safely inside, Pena did not stop running however. Instead he turned on the light on his miner’s hat and kept running down into the interior of the mountain until he encountered the other miners at the bottom of the darkened shaft.

“When I first saw them standing there in the dark, I said to them, ‘What? Don’t tell me you were training for the marathon too?” said a nearly exhausted but relieved Peña.

Peña has agreed to submit to a full body cavity search before the beginning of the race on Sunday as a safety precaution imposed by the marathon officials.


Copyright © 2008-2010 by Robert W. Armijo

Rescued Chilean Miners’ 15-Minutes of Fame Over Already?

Santiago, Chile --


A major breakfast cereal manufacturer announced today that it is canceling its plans to place all 33 faces of the rescued Chilean miners on a special collector’s edition of its most popular brand of cereal.

The decision came down from the corporate office when a dispute between the miners arose over whether they should all appear on a signal cereal box cover, or each appear separately on their own respective box of cereal.

“Sometime during negotiations it seems the cereal company, along with the public, simply lost interest,” said a spokesman for the miners at a nearly empty press conference to yawning reporters.

Other evidence that the miners may have exhausted their 15-minutes of fame came when paparazzi style photographs surfaced depicting dozens of the miners in candid moments of domesticity from taking out the trash, picking up after the family dog to sleeping on the couch. While other pictures showed the unmarried miners having to pay for their own drinks and lap dances at the local bar.

Despite the sensationalism of the shots, however, no buyer could be found for the photos.

“I’m going back to Hollywood to see if Lindsey Lohan is out of rehab again,” said a paparazzo who had been stalking the miners since their release. “If I hang around here much longer, I’ll starve.”

“They’re down to a ribbon cutting ceremony at the neighborhood grocery store in the morning,” continued the spokesman for the miners. “After that, they hit rock bottom. And have to star on their own reality TV show, if they expect to milk any more money out of what is left of their last remaining 15-minutes fame.”

No word as to whether the miners will be appearing all together on one reality TV show, or 33 separate ones.

Copyright © 2008-2010 by Robert W. Armijo

Cigar Guy the 34th Chilean Miner Rescued?

Santiago, Chile --



The Chilean mining authority has confirmed reports that a 34th man was extracted from the collapsed mine just hours after it was believed the last rescue worker was the last man to be pulled up to the surface.

“We couldn’t believe it when we got the radio message from the last rescue worker that there was another man still down there,” said a representative of the Chilean mining authority that took charge of the rescue operation days after the mine collapse and to its successful completion.

As the last rescue worker, Manuel Chavez, waved to the remote camera a half-mile beneath the earth from the now abandoned miners camp in preparation to be the last man to ascend to the surface, he half entered the elongated red, white and blue capsule only to unexpectedly pause.


The rescue crew monitoring his moves from the surface, waiting with unopened champagne bottles in hand called down, asking him what was wrong.


“What are you doing, Manuel?” jokingly asked the crane operator responsible for pulling up the capsule out of the cramped metal tube. “Don’t be such an attention whore. Get into the capsule so we can celebrate properly. El Presidente is buying us the first round of drinks.”



However, the crew chief, who was watching Manuel on a monitor, instantly knew something was seriously wrong and got on the radio.



“What’s wrong, Manuel?” said the crew chief. “Why don’t you get into the capsule?”


Manuel still paused mid stride with one foot inside the capsule and the other outside, did not respond but instead shook his head as if in disbelief as he turned away from his ride to freedom and turned back toward the cavernous interior.



“Everybody stop cheering!” yelled out the crew chief using a bullhorn.



Soon everybody’s attention was once again refocused on the live feed from the floor of the mine.




All watched as Manuel left the safety and security of the rescue vehicle and walked out of camera range toward something that had obviously drew his attention.



“Manuel radioed up to me, asking if I was sure that all the miners had been accounted for,” said the crew chief. “I told him, yes. I was sure. All 33 men were out of the mine. No one had been left behind. But he didn’t believe me and asked me to do another headcount.”




That is when the crew chief asked him why, but Manuel’s response was unintelligible. Drowned out by the cracking and popping sounds of a radio signal out of range, or encountering interference.




The crew chief asked Manuel several times to repeat his last transmission, but no response came.


Moments turned into minutes which seemed like hours but finally Manuel reestablished communication, even returning to the capsule. As he walked back into camera range, however, was not alone. He had his arm over the shoulders of a man wearing an ethnic headdress, sporting a heavy mustache and smoking a cigar.


“Cigar Guy?!” let out a collective cheer of relief and surprise from the rescuers on the surface.

“It was him,” said the crew chief, still in a state of disbelief. “You know, the man that first showed up in that famous Tiger Woods photo and everywhere since.”


Later, back up at the surface, Cigar Guy explained that as soon as he heard that the men were trapped in the mine, he decided he would take on his own to hike down into the mine to cheer them up.


“Only by the time he reached them. They were already rescued,” explained Manuel, still with his arm around Cigar Guy’s shoulder back on the surface.




In Manuel’s own words, he was ready to leave the mountainous tomb when he thought he saw a flash of light against the walls of the mineshaft, an orange glow in the dark behind him and detected the distinct odor of a fine Cuban cigar lingering in the air.

Walking toward the pleasant aroma, Manuel caught in the beam of his flashlight: Cigar Guy -- who was calmly sitting on a boulder, smoking a cigar.


As Manuel cautiously approached, Cigar Guy reached under his cloth hat covered in a thick white chalky dust and pulled out a cigar, which was unscathed and in perfect smoking condition and handed it over to him.


As the two men sat side-by-side on top of the boulder smoking away their cigars in the dark, a half-mile down in the bowel’s of the earth, no words, or translation, was necessary between them to say: job well done, job well done.


Copyright © 2008-2010 by Robert W. Armijo