Madonna Booed by Fans for Planned Post-Election ‘Wardrobe Malfunction’

New York, New York –

While on stage, the material girl was booed by her fans when she announced to them her plans to have a post-election celebratory wardrobe malfunction in honor of President Barack Obama's reelection, should he win. 

 “That’s right,” said Madonna to her concert going fans, using finger air quotes to emphasize her point. “I’ll have a ‘wardrobe malfunction’ just for you, if you vote for Obama and he’s reelected. But you got to vote for him and he has to get reelected, okay?” 

Madonna then turned to her band and dancers ready to begin her set when someone in the audience spoke up.

“Keep them on,” heckled a fan from somewhere in the audience. “Or else, we’ll vote for the other guy.”

The crowd cheered in agreement. 

“You don’t understand,” replied Madonna, turning to face the crowd. “I meant that I’d get naked, really naked. Just for you. Right here on this stage, if you vote for President Obama and he’s reelected.” 

The crowd booed in disapproval. 

A disillusioned Madonna just shrugged her shoulders and smiled nervously not knowing what to do.

“Just sing,” yelled out another fan. 

The crowd applauded in agreement. 

Backstage somebody in Madonna’s entourage signaled the band to play and the dancers to dance when she suddenly signaled for them to stop.

“Let me get this straight,” said a disgruntled Madonna, walking out to the very edge of the catwalk. “You mean you don’t want to see this magnificent 50-year-old body naked?”

“No!” unanimously yelled out the throng.

“You do realize 50 is the new 20, right?” asked Madonna. 

“It’s not!” echoed the crowd. 

The band began to play again and the dancers began dancing again when Madonna signaled for them to stop again. 

Madonna looked out to the crowd and for a moment she looked as if she was about to cry when a look of bliss suddenly came over her face.

“Oh I get it now,” said Madonna in full denial. “You’re all Mitt Romney supporters. That’s cool. I can live with that.” 

Madonna signaled the band to begin playing and the dancers to dance, drowning out the crowds’ response.

“♫Like a virgin♫,” sang Madonna with all her heart. Only this time, as if to herself. 

Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Herman Cain Blames Rick Perry; Rick Blames Mitt Romney; Mitt Blames Mel Gibson; Mel Blames the Jews

Malibu, California --

Herman Cain broke Ronald Reagan’s Golden Rule of “Thou Shall Not Attack a Fellow Republican” this week when he openly blamed Rick Perry for leaking to the media his sexual harassment settlement back when he was the president for the National Restaurant Association on Capitol Hill.

That, however, was just the opening salvo in what turned out to be a Republican bloodbath. For just as quickly, Rick Perry turned around and blamed fellow Republican, Mitt Romney for the Cain leak. Mitt Romney then pointed his finger at Mel Gibson, who, without hesitation, blamed the Jews.

Siting by the telephone at his Malibu home, Mel Gibson, actor and director, awaits a phone call from his court appointed anti-anti-Semitic rage counselor, Rabbi David Herschel.

“I don’t have to talk to him,” said a nervous Mel Gibson as he puffed away at a cigarette. “It’s just…I feel like I owe him an explanation.”

Mel Gibson claims he and Rabbi Herschel have become close friends since his arrest for a DUI several years’ back, which he blames the alcohol for his anti-Semitic tirade.

“I hope he can understand,” said Mel Gibson, lifting up the receiver to check if the phone was working. Then quickly putting it down, once he heard the dial tone.

According to Mel Gibson, the court appointed Rabbi Herschel to teach him that the Jews are not to blame for the woes of the world, or the death of Jesus Christ.

Suddenly, the phone rings. It is the call Mel Gibson has been waiting for.

“What happen, Mel?” asked Rabbi Herschel. “You were doing so well.”

“I know. I know,” lamented Mel Gibson, slapping his forehead with the palm of his hand. “It must have been a knee-jerk reaction.”

“Listen, Mel,” said a comforting Rabbi Herschel. “I understand. Old habits are hard to break. But the important thing is that you still believe me when I tell you the Jews are not to blame for the woes of the world, right?”

“Right,” Mel Gibson agreed.

“And you still believe me when I tell you the Jews are not to blame for the death of Jesus Christ, right?” asked Rabbi Herschel.

“Right,” again agreed, Mel Gibson.

“So then,” said Rabbi Herschel. “What’s all this nonsense about the Jews being responsible for the Cain leak? You know the Jews are not to blame for that, right?”

Silence filled the phone line.

“Right, Mel?” repeated Rabbi Herschel. “Mel?”

“Well,” Mel Gibson finally responded. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, Rabbi Herschel.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo Courtesy of:
wpclipart.com

Herman Cain’s Subliminal Message Hidden in His Political YouTube Ad: I’m Not Just Blowing Smoke Up Your [BLEEP], Baby!

Herman Cain’s Manager
"Just Blowing Smoke"?
Madison Avenue, New York –

Everyone is abuzz about Herman Cain’s controversial political campaign ad, which features his campaign manager (left) blowing cigarette smoke into the camera.

Many have formed theories as to what it could mean, but only one man, a former Madison Avenue ad executive, claims to know what it is all about.

“What is Mr. Cain saying to the American voter?” said Albert Brayne, a retired ad executive who specialized in subliminal advertising. “That’s easy. He’s saying: ‘I’m not just blowing smoke up your [BLEEP], baby!”

According to Brayne, Cain’s controversial political campaign is peppered with hidden images of the female buttocks.

“Only they flash on the screen too fast for the naked eye to see,” said Brayne, who has analyzed the Cain YouTube ad frame by frame, using specialized equipment to confirm his findings. “But they’re there, as plain as the nose on your face. You just can’t see them.”

Brayne says that although the suggestive images are invisible, the mind’s eye can still see them. Leaving a formidable and lasting impression on the mind of the average person.

“The untrained eye of the general public is most susceptible to subliminal advertising,” said Brayne. “Making them most likely to buy into any message without question.”

Only people, like Brayne, with a trained eye are able to detect subliminal images or messages without the use of optical enhancement equipment, seeing them for what they really are.

“Of course, there are exceptions to every rule,” said Brayne. “For example, sex maniacs. They are able to see sexual subliminal images without the use of any special equipment.”


Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.