Thursday, May 19, 2016

Dennis Miller Performs a Neoconservative Version of ‘The Aristocrats’ at Comedy Clubs Across the Nation


"I simply deplore our class
being reduced to a punchline."
By Robert W. Armijo

The following is a transcript of new stand-up comedy material  that Dennis Miller is testing at various comedy clubs across the nation, possibly in preparation for the upcoming (Post Obama) 2016 presidential election. 

It is a snap shot taken of his neoconservative politics, which he willingly serves as a court jester and icon to the clearly under represented conservative comedy movement that he has recently currently come to represent. 

So, unlike the liberal version of ‘The Aristocrats’, which involves a heterosexual nuclear family unit, engaging in morally deplorable and unlawful acts of incest, rape and bestiality. 

Miller’s version of 'The Aristocrats' involves all that as well ,only he uses a homosexual nuclear family unit instead.

Warning! It is strongly advised that you click the link ‘The Aristocrats’ before proceeding to see if you can stomach this very blue type of comedy or free speech.   

Begin transcript:

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So this guy walks into a talent agency and says, Do I got an act for you.

I’m sorry with the passage of same sex marriage, legalization of marijuana and now transgender bathroom stalls, I’m only accepting family acts. You know, to deal with all the blowback. 

But this is a family act. 

Okay, you got my attention. What do you got?

Well, it starts like this. Two gay men walk onto the stage completely nude and holding hands. 

Hold it right there, buddy. Two gay men? I thought you said it was a family act?

It is. It’s modern family act. 

Yeah, but --

But what?

Well, it’s just that I don’t what to be accused of being homophobic.

Don’t worry. You won’t. Trust me, it’s a classy act.

Okay, go on. I guess.

So, while the gay guy on the floor is getting tea bagged by the other gay man, two teenage boys walk on stage just like their gay fathers.

Hold it. 

Yeah.

Are they naked too? 

Yup. 

Holding hands?

Yup.

And they’re related to the two gay men?

Yup.

Okay, let me save us both sometime here. Let me guess. The two gay men end up having sex with the two teenage boys in every disgusting and illegal manner possible. Right? 

Right.

Now, I’m a little confused here.

About what?

Well, it’s just that earlier you said the act was classy. How is it classy for two adult men to rape two teenage boys? Their sons, no less.

Oh, that. They’re not related to the teenage boys by blood. You see, they’re adopted. 

Oh, I see. And let me guess, you call your act The Aristocrats, right?

Nope.

No?! What then?!

The Democrats!!!

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End transcript.

Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo(s) Courtesy of:
wpclipart.com

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