Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Top 10 List of the Last Things Han Solo Could’ve Said and Should’ve Said Instead of Saying Nothing

"I can't believe this Star Wars logo 
is public domain!"
By Robert W. Armijo

It is not so much a disappoint that one of the most beloved Star Wars characters -- Han Solo -- died in the now renewed popular franchised episodic space opera series, but that his spark did not go out of the Star Wars universe true to form. 

Hearken back, for a moment, to his 'last words" spoken to Leia, while being lowered down into the carbonite freezing chamber on Cloud City. 

Leia [to Han Solo]: I love you.

 Han [to Leia]: I know.

The scene drew laughter all most exclusively from the female members of the audience, while the male members just shrugged their shoulders in ignorance.

Now here follows the Top 10 things Han Solo could have or should have said instead of just saying nothing during his death scene at the hands of his executioner and...son:

10) "You bastard! No, really. You’re literally a bastard. Your mother and I had you out of wedlock."

9) "You’re so much like your mother."

8) "Please, call your mother and tell her I’ll be late for dinner."

7) "I don’t think the New Republic’s HMO [health insurance] covers this."

6) "You’re so grounded."

5) "You’re really adopted!"

4) "Tell your mother I said, 'I told you so'.”

3) "Son of a bitch!"

2) "Don’t forget to give Chewy a fresh bowl of water every morning and walk him twice a day."

1) "Ouch...And I thought the hibernation sickness and freezer burn from the carbonite was bad."

Bonus: "Damn, I just got my hyper-drive license renewed too. Not an easy thing to do at my age."

Bonus: "Is this because I [BLEEP] your mother? Because every mother has to be a lover, to be a mother."

Bonus: “Hey, Ben Solo! You know what you are?...Just a dirty son of a [BLEEP]!”


Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo Courtesy of: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Star_Wars_Logo.svg

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