Tuesday, July 28, 2015
On This Day in History, Did You Know…Hitler Gave a Movie Review of the Timeless Classic The Wizard of Oz for the Hitler Youth Program?
By Robert W. Armijo
On this day in history, Hitler once gave four and a half swastikas out of a possible five in his movie review of The Wizard of Oz for the Hitler Youth Program.
Proclaiming it to be, “An instant classic for children of the Hitler Youth Program and adult Nazis alike.”
However, much to the disappointment to the children of the Hitler Youth Program, Hitler still bans the movie from being shown in Nazi Germany just the same, even ordering the negatives of the film to be burned as well and the ashes scattered at the Russian front.
Explaining his actions to the Hitler Youth Program during a weekly Q and A sit down session with Hitler called, “Hot Coco and Strudel with Uncle Adolf”, Hitler begins explaining his reasons simply enough by posing a series of rhetorical question to the members of the Hitler Youth Program.
“Children, you may be asking yourselves this morning ‘Why did Uncle Adolf give The Wizard of Oz four and half swastikas just to ban and burn the movie?’ Well, you see children…”
However, Hitler then delved into a lengthy explanation about the movie being too character driven rather than plot driven, which confused the children of the Hitler Youth Program even more instead of clarifying it for them.
Hitler saw this confusion reflected in their young faces and finally says to them, “Besides, children, the movie was made in Hollywood. And as everybody knows sitting in this room, Hollywood is controlled by the Jews.”
“Oooh,” collectively exclaimed the children of the Hitler Youth Program.
“Outside of that, it may well last as long as my one-thousand years Nazi regime,” said Hitler. “No. Not really. I was just joking. Now, run along children. Remember, you have finals next week, so be sure to practice your Goosestep Marching for Band 101, Sigh Ail for Beginners and How to Tell if Your Neighbor is a Jew, Jehovah’s Witness or Gentile Homosexual. If you fail, I’ll have you shot by Himmler or Goerbbels here. No, just kidding. I’ll shoot you myself. No, not really. Just joking. What kind of monster do you think I am? I’ll shoot your parents instead. No joking that time. I will shoot them if you fail. And if you hate your parents or think being an orphan will be fun. Try it at the Russian front! Now let’s see some goose-stepping! You, there! Yes, you. The family Van Trapp kids. Higher! Higher! Wait a minute. What are you kids still doing here? I thought I sent you to the Russian Front with your parents.”
And so it went on, this day in history…Wait. That’s can’t be right…And so it went, on this day in history…Much better.
Copyright (C) 2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
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