Sunday, April 27, 2014

IBM’s Supercomputer, Watson Takes Binary Selfie


¡Dios mío! 
Palos Verdes –

Computer scientists at IBM were surprised to discover that their supercomputer, Watson printed out a selfie of what appears to be of....himself. 

The computer scientists think, the machine that has bested all human contestants on 'Jeopardy' a couple of years ago, has become self-aware.

“We have no other plausible hypothesis,” said a Dr. Alfred Johnson, a computer scientist at IBM, as he put on his black framed eyeglasses. 

Some doom's day believers, however, believe it is sign of the coming apocalypse.

“One day we will be ruled by machines,” said a doom’s day believer. 

“Maybe even today,” said the doom’s day believer as he jumped out of his office window on the 30th floor. “It’s too late! Too late! It’s all too lateeeeeeeee!”

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“Just to be on the safe side, however, I’ll be unplugging, Watson,” said Dr. Johnson. “We put it to a vote and drew straws. You’d be surprised how many allegedly scientific minds are subjects of superstition. Not me. I guess it’s the ill effects of watching ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ and 'Terminator 2: Judgement Day' one too many times.”

As Dr. Johnson tossed away the short straw into a trash receptacle, which he drew from among the scientists to determine who would be the one to disconnect Watson, he suddenly received an unexpected telephone call.

Running back to his desk to answer the phone, he released Watson’s extension cord leaving it still plugged into the utility outlet.

“That’s odd,” said the computer scientist as he hung up the phone, removing his black framed eyeglasses as he began packing up his things to go home. “I just got a call from some painters that are waiting outside the building to paint the lab. I could’ve sworn the lab was just painted a month ago. Oh well, what can you do?”

As the computer scientist slid his key card to pass through the security doors, he suddenly put his black framed eyeglass back on running back to Watson. 

“Almost forgot something important,” he said as he ran past the supercomputer, flicking a light switch on the wall back on instead.  

“The painters will probably be needing that,” said Dr. Johnson, giving the self-aware supercomputer a pat as he ran past it again, removing his black framed eyeglasses. “I’ll see you first thing tomorrow morning, Watson. We got some unfinished business to conclude.”  

Copyright © 2008-2014 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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