Tuesday, October 15, 2013

‘Dancing with the Stars’ Flooded with Angry Phone Calls by Scientologists Over Leah Remini’s ‘Puppet Master’ Dance Routine

Hollywood, California –

‘Dancing with the Stars’ producers announced their displeasure with The Church of Scientology as they reported having been inundated by a flood of angry phone calls over its former member Leah Remini’s ‘Puppet Master’ dance routine this week.

“The calls jammed up the ABC switchboard,” said a producer.

This week on the show all the guest star dancers were asked what year was their hardiest year and the reason why. 

“Then they were asked to create a contemporary dance routine that best represented that hardship,” said a producer. “Demonstrating through art how they overcame it.”

Leah Remini identified this year as her most difficult, although she never mentioned her very public breakup from the church of Scientology by name at anytime on the show. Or during her dance routine.

“Everyone in the studio and viewing audience at home already knew what she was talking about,” said a producer. “So there really was no need to mention any names.”

“Leah Remini was very mindful to heed our legal advice and avoid costly litigation,” stated the network’s legal department in a press release. “And though she confided with her professional dance partner provided to her by the show, it was for technical advice only. Leah Remini came up with the totally original dance routine all on her own and she is alone solely responsible for its content.” 

After the dance, in which Leah Remini appeared as a puppet having severed her strings, freeing herself from her puppet master’s oppressive manipulative vice, the studio audience and judges were all stunned into utter silence.

“The applause sign just kept flashing and flashing,” said a stagehand. “But nobody clapped.”

Producers figured that people were too afraid to applaud, unaccustomed to actually seeing an American exercise their right to free speech through contemporary dance on a primetime family oriented show. 

“So they just sat there,” said the stagehand. 

All looking away, avoiding eye contact with Leah Remini at all cost.

“Most just stared up into the spotlights and rafters,” said a stagehand.

“It was the elephant in the room that everybody danced around and around and around,” said Bruno, a judge.

Even the usually vocal and witty host, Tom Bergeron, fell silent.

“He was sweating,” said a stagehand. “Wiping away beads of sweat that were pouring down his forehead.”

Of course, producers were able to fix the awkward silence in editing before airing the episode.

“In their confusion, the disgruntled Scientologists called the wrong phone number, accidentally voting for Leah Remini to stay on the show,” said a producer. 

Giving her the numbers, she needed to save her during the elimination round. 

“At least for this week anyway,” added a producer.

Copyright © 2008-2013 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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