Monday, July 15, 2013

Leah Remini Leaves Scientology, Joins Branch Davidians

Hollywood, California –

‘King of Queens’ star, Leah Remini, has broken free of Scientology after spending 30 years of her 43-year-old life in the controversial religion, just to join up with the gun-toting Branch Davidans of the ATF Waco, Texas shootout fame. 

“Being in a cult can be a lot like being in an abusive relationship,” explained a cult deprogrammer. “Often the subject ends up leaving one controlling lover just to end up in the arms of another controlling lover.”

Reportedly, Remini was tired of undergoing exhaustive ‘thought modification’ for openly criticizing the leadership of the church and asking too many questions like: Why are you recording all my phone calls? Why are you following me to the bathroom? What’s that you’re pouring in my coffee? And do you have any more?

However, the straw that broke the camel’s back was when Remini discovered the church had cloned a ‘Mini-Me’ version of her. 

“It was half her size,” said a friend. “And twice as bitchy.”  

“She might have not joined the Branch Davidans for ideological reasons,” said a cult deprogrammer. “But rather for the protection.”

Copyright © 2008-2013 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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