Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Man with Tourette Syndrome Tossed from Flight for Dropping the Mother [BLEEP] B-Word

Dropping the [BLEEP]-Word
for the Hearing Impaired 
Dallas, Texas –

With the airplane on autopilot, the cockpit emptied and left unattended, the captain and co-pilot of flight 237 addressed the cabin over the flight attendance’s public address system. 

“Okay, who keeps dropping the [BLEEP] B-word?” asked the captain.

The stewardesses and the entire cabin pointed to two men seated together near a window.  

Everybody watched as the captain walked up to the two men who were obviously traveling companions, if not close friends. As he approached, he noticed one man covering the mouth of the other man with his hand.

“What the [BLEEP] is going on here?” asked the captain.  

“It’s my [BLEEP] friend,” replied the man with his hand over the other man’s mouth. “He can’t help saying inappropriate [BLEEP] things when he is nervous and flying makes him [BLEEP] very nervous.”

“Why do you have your hand over his [BLEEP] mouth?” asked the captain. “Why don’t you let him [BLEEP] speak for himself?”

“Because he has a [BLEEP] medical condition called tourette syndrome,” the man explained to the captain. “And if I remove my [BLEEP] hand from his [BLEEP] mouth, he’ll say. You know…the [BLEEP] B-word. He has poof of his medical condition right [BLEEP] here.”

The man then reached down momentarily removing his hand from his friend’s mouth to hold up his friend’s wrist from which a medical alert bracelet dangled. 

“[BLEEP] see?” said the man, as he held up his friend’s wrist for the captain to read. 

The man with tourette syndrome just smiled and then said, “Bomb.” 

The man immediately slapped his hand back over his friend’s mouth. Somewhat silencing him but really only muffling him, as he continued to repeatedly say the word bomb over and over again from underneath the hand.

“Well, I guess he can stay on the [BLEEP] plane,” said the captain, carefully examining the medical alert bracelet, which confirmed the man’s medical condition. “But you got to keep him [BLEEP] quiet. Or I’m throwing the [BLEEP] both of you off at the [BLEEP] next stop.” 

“The arrangement would have worked out just [BLEEP] fine,” later said a passenger. “If it wasn’t that the friend had to use the [BLEEP] rest room.”

The two men struggled down the aisle but finally made their way to the bathroom.

“It looked like a [BLEEP] hostage situation,” said another passenger. “With one guy dragging the other guy into the bathroom with his hand over the other guy’s [BLEEP] face.”

However, all the passengers where aware of the situation and paid little to no attention to the two men. 

“That was until the two entered and locked the stall behind [BLEEP] them,” said a stewardess.

From inside the bathroom came the B-word laud and clear: “Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb…”

Then came a knock at the bathroom door.

“This is the [BLEEP] captain speaking,” said the captain.

“Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb…”

“That’s [BLEEP] it,” said the captain. “I warned you [BLEEP] guys. You two are off my [BLEEP] plane.”

“Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb…”

Finally, the bathroom stall fell silent and the two men reemerged as they entered in hostage-like fashion.

“[BLEEP] come on captain,” begged the man with his hand over his friend’s mouth as the two followed the captain up the aisle. “I had to use the [BLEEP] bathroom and I needed both [BLEEP] hands free.”

The man then turned to his friend and speaking to him asked, “Isn’t that [BLEEP] right?” 

The man then removed his hand from his friend’s face to allow him to answer. 

“He nodded in agreement,” said a passenger. “Then he [BLEEP] said, ‘Bomb’.”

Copyright © 2008-2013 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.


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