When it reigns, it pours. Fresh on the heels of Kate Middleton’s topless photos comes the news that the duchess’ little sister, Pippa, has a few skeletons in the closet of her own. As photos of her ass have just been leaked to the Internet.
The ass in the photo (above) has been authenticated as belonging to Pippa Middleton.
“It was taken without her permission when she wandered onto a neighbor’s property,” said a friend of the Middleton family, while examining the photo.
“Pippa’s ass seems to have a mind of its own,” said a Bobby [policeman], who often responds to the trespass calls. “She’d wander far and wide, all about the countryside. Even poking her nose into a few pubs all along the way.”
At the end of the day, however, Pippa’s ass could usually be found in a neighbor’s barn.
“Taking a roll in the hay,” explained the family friend.
The size of Pippa’s ass also made it impossible for the authorities to transport her by way of a lorry [truck].
“So they often had to ride her back home,” said the family friend. “Taking turns along the way.”
“Pippa’s ass doesn’t seem to mind really,” said the Bobby, reflecting on the times he mounted up on her. “In fact, if you ask me, she likes someone taking the reigns. Someone to take control. Someone willing to firmly, yet ever so gently, plant a barehanded slap on her buttocks. Just to remind her who’s in charge when she’s lost and can’t find her way back home bareback.”
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