At first everyone thought it was incredibly brave and admirable of Dick Clark to have optimistically scheduled himself as the host of Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve 2018. Especially after his decision to return to the show despite his advanced years, suffering a debilitating stroke that slurred his speech and ironically being sued for age discrimination by an associate just a few years his senior that he referred to as a “dinosaur”.
That was until everybody discovered Dick Clark was not just being optimistic.
Writing provisions in his will, instructing his survivors to make preparations that will continue to allow him to host the show ‘indefinitely and in perpetuity’ after his death, Dick Clark has not only secured the title of America’s oldest teenager, but its first immortal one as well.
“With a little help from a medium, ouija board and a crystal ball, Dick Clark’s ghost will host this year’s New Year’s Eve bash,” said a spokesman for the Clark estate.
Dick Clark’s will also included a backup plan, however, should the seer fail to channel him from beyond.
“We’re also prepared to broadcast a giant hologram of his head live from the Time Square ticker board,” added the spokesman for the Clark estate.
Either way, Dick Clark will return to the airwaves come this New Year’s Eve.
So far, however, reaction to Dick Clark’s return to the airwaves postpartum from even the most ardent of his fans has been mixed and conflicted at best.
“I don’t know if he should continue to host the show,” said Jane, 67, who watched Dick even after he had a stroke. “But then again, it’s like my grandfather always said to me, ‘Jane, death is just Mother Nature’s way of telling you to slow down.’”
Maybe Dick Clark should lay low awhile and let someone else have a turn. You know, just until next year.
Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.