Saturday, February 18, 2012

Smoker Injured by Acme Exploding Electronic Cigarette

Miami, Florida –

A 57-year-old man was severely injured this week when he reached over to turn on his electric cigarette and pulled out an exploding cigar instead.

“A labeling mix up at the Acme exploding joke cigar factory lead to the incident,” said police.

After regaining consciousness, the injured man awoke to find he was missing his lips, teeth and a chunk of his tongue.

“Which made it all the more difficult to understand what he was trying to say to me,” said the 911 operator who took the call.

Nevertheless, the 911 operator dispatched the fire department to the scene via a phone trace.

When first responders arrived, however, they were shocked by what they saw.

“With his lips and tongue missing like that we thought we were dealing with another chimp attack,” said an emergency medical technician (EMT).

So EMTs’ called for police backup and waited for them to sweep the habitation for a primate before treating the injured man.

Unable to speak, the injured man attempted to communicate to the EMTs and police that he was not attacked by a chimp by dropping his pants, exposing his intact genitals.

“Unfortunately, the officers on the scene misinterpreted the gesture as an act of aggression and tasered him,” said a spokesman for the police.

Eventually, the injured man was transported to the hospital where he was treated.

“It’s a good thing that the patient was in the process of exhaling and not inhaling,” explained the attending emergency room physician.

Otherwise, the injured man would be breathing his next cigarette through a tiny little hole in his neck like that old lady on that anti-tobacco TV commercial.

“Only in his case it wouldn’t be due to any smoking related illness,” continued the physician. “But because he wouldn’t have a head.”

Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.


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