As the smoky raven-haired Mila Kunis sat with her date at the Marine Corps Ball, all the females (civilians and Marines alike) seated immediately adjacent to her table one-by-one, got up and went into the bathroom to gossip about her appearance.
“I wonder what’s going on?” said Mila’s Marine, taking notice of the exodus.
“I don’t know,” feigned Mila as she threw back another glass of champagne. “Probably can’t hold their liquor.”
Mila Kunis knew what was going on, but she did not want to concern her date with trivial matters. After all, tonight was his night. However, she overheard the snide remarks made of her by other females in attendance for her wearing so much make-up at the honored event.
Inside the bathroom, the women gathered like a brewing storm, sharing their unflattering observations and reproach of Mila Kunis.
“I know she’s an actress,” said one woman. “But I’ve never seen her wear so much make-up before.”
“She has so much make-up on,” said another female. “I thought she just walked off the set of some kind of Kabuki movie or something.”
“I know,” said a female Marine dressed in full formal uniform. “Maybe it’s Maybelline. Maybe it’s camouflage.”
“Okay, stop it you guys!” shouted out Kunis as she burst into the lady’s room. “If you got something to say to me, why don’t you try saying it to my face?”
“We would, if we could see it,” quipped the female Marine who was almost twice the size of Kunis.
“Are you challenging me?” asked Kunis with out hesitation, as she looked the Marine up and down.
“Yeah,” replied the female Marine, stepping forward from the circle of women, rolling up her sleeves. “I’m challenging you.”
Moments later, Mila exited the lady’s room unscathed, cheerfully returning to her table.
“Everything all right?” asked her date.
“It is now,” said Mila, throwing back another glass of champagne. Then, looking down at her hand, she noticed something was wrong.
“Oh shit!” Mila exclaimed.
“What is it?” asked her date.
“I broke a nail, see?” said Mila holding out her hand.
Reaching out to remove what he thought was a piece of white porcelain stuck to Mila’s right index finger, the Marine asked, “Is that a tooth?”
Mila quickly pulled out a mirror from her purse, checking her smile.
“Yup,” Mila casually replied. “But it’s not one of mine. Thank God.”
Mila then snatched the tooth from her date’s hand, dropping into her empty champagne glass.
“Come on,” said Mila grabbing her Marine by the hand. “Let’s dance!”
“Sure,” admiringly replied the Marine, impressed with his date. “But by the looks of it, you already have.”
Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
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