Occupy Oakland Served a Predawn Pancake Breakfast by Police; Free Speech Zone Relocated to City Jail

San Francisco, California –

In the early predawn hours today, a cadre of law enforcement officers made up of different branches from surrounding police departments in the bay area gently awoke members of Occupy Oakland encamped at Oscar Grant Plaza and Snow Park.

“Each were individually escorted by a cop who acted as a personal concierge,” said the commanding officer.

Occupy Oakland protestors were then treated to a pancake breakfast, which was prepared and served to them by police wearing aprons over their riot gear.

“We weren’t sure how they would react when they found out we forgot the maple syrup. Or being forcibly relocated to a new free speech zone situated in the metropolitan detention facility,” said the commanding officer from under his gas mask, wearing an apron which read: Complaints to the Cook Can Be Hazardous to Your Health.

So the commanding officer took the extra precaution of having his officers suit up.

Sure enough, just as one of the protestors asked for maple syrup, violence erupted.

“Hey everybody!” yelled out an ungrateful protestor gathering the attention and ire of the motley crew. “They forgot the maple syrup!”

“Yeah,” echoed another protestor with his complaint. Getting up to stand on the breakfast table to make his point. “And my eggs are runny, too!”

“That’s it,” said the commanding officer, ordering his officers to move in on the unlawful assembly. “My men and me didn’t wakeup at three o’clock in the morning to slave over a hot plate to get treated like this.”


Copyright © 2011-2008 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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