‘Balloon Boy’ Escapes Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Route


New York, New York --

It was supposed to be a healing moment for the nation but tragedy struck twice instead as the Balloon Boy once again held hostage our collective attention when during its debut in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade today, the flying saucer shaped helium filled figurine broke free of its tethers on live TV and floated away.

With even many more cameras and eyes watching back home than before, it was, however, the people lined along the parade route that watched with mouths opened, struck silent in total disbelief that were most traumatized, and most for the second time.

As the Balloon Boy drama continued to play out before them seemingly in slow motion, the crowd looked on helplessly as ever as the Macy Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon handlers struggled to hold on to the giant flying saucer shaped helium filled figurine, only to lose control of it in the end when the lighter than air aircraft took flight on a gust of wind with the hearts and minds of a nation on aboard again.

“No! Not again!” screamed one woman in a state of hysteria as she ran the entire length of the parade route, ripping her clothing from her body along the way.

Later, police were able to able to subdue the hysterical woman, taking her into custody. Unfortunately, not without resorting to their batons first. Then their taser guns, second. Teargas third, before finally having to call in a SWAT team to take her down.

“Good news, though,” said parade officials of the single pregnant mother of three children. “She’s expected to make a quick recovery.”

All along the parade route increased police action was required as they responded to a wave of 911 cell phone calls from panicking parents unable to locate their children, fearing that their child had somehow climbed on aboard the Macy’ Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloon Boy Mylar UFO balloon craft and floated away.

“Chaos rapidly descended along with the other parade balloons,” said police, as parents began attacking the festive floating figurines and their handlers, flooding into the parade route calling out for their lost children.

Police responded by declaring the parade an unlawful assembly over their bullhorns.

“Even as police put on their riot gear, parents refused to disperse,” said one eyewitness who barely escaped with his life.

Instead parents continue to wonder and loiter about with fingers pointed to the sky, as every parent believed their child was aboard the wayward aircraft that floated high above the New York City skyline. Unfortunately, drifting into restricted airspace.


“Looking back now,” later reflected a spokesman for the Macy’s department store that originally sponsored the annual tradition to boost Christmas sales, as a squadron of fighter jets circled above and the crowd let out a collective scream. “Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to enter the Balloon Boy balloon into the parade route this year…maybe it was just too soon.”



Copyright © 2008-9 by Robert W. Armijo